Post Valentine's Day Daily Arrested

I don't understand famous people. They have fame. They have money. Why do they do stupid things to screw up their lives? Today's edition of the Daily Arrested:

Chinese actress, Bai Ling, was arrested for shoplifting celebrity magazines and batteries in an airport.

O.J. is back in the news. This time for questioning in connection with the near fatal injuries of his Nicole Brown look-alike girlfriend.

Rapper Terius Gray, aka Juvenile, was arrested for misdemeanor marijuana possession in Jackson, Mississippi.

Having fulfilled all conditions for his 2006 drunken driving arrest, Mel Gibson remains on probation. Let's hope he continues attending AA meetings.

G-Unit rapper Marvin Bernard, aka Tony Yayo, received 10 days of community service as punishment for threatening a recording rival's minor son.

Britney's beau, Adnan Ghalib, was questioned in connection with the assault of a paparazzo.

Redmond O'Neal, son of Ryan O'Neal and Farrah Fawcett, is facing new drug charges after having just completed rehab. His mother, a former Charlie's Angels star, continues to struggle with cancer.

Malibu Fires Send Mel Gibson Packing

I don't get it. Don't Malibu firemen understand that some stars don't need to be evacuated from encroaching flames?

Yep, it's true. The wildfires have spread to Malibu. However, unlike mere mortals, some people are more at home among the terrifying flames. Some, who have made pacts with you know who, truly relish the searing heat, attendant mayhem, and mind numbing destruction. Oh yes, there are a few.

To understand what I mean, take a good hard look at the subject matter of Mel's latest projects. Gore, torture, mutilation -- it's all there in living technicolor. When people begin to see Mel for who he really is -- a biggot spewing booze swilling hack with tons of money and no real friends to show for it -- they'll understand my disdain.

There are more important things in life than having gobs of money and a copious lifestyle. Like knowing when to keep yer trap shut. Mel must have missed that lesson. Probably too busy pitching whatever.