Showing posts with label David Letterman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label David Letterman. Show all posts

Monday, April 11, 2011

David Letterman Calls Donald Trump a Jackass


In last night’s monologue, David Letterman criticized Donald Trump for demanding Barack Obama’s birth certificate. He then said The Donald’s parentage derived from "jack" and "ass."

I didn’t write down the joke verbatim, but it was something to that effect. Hee-haw.


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Sunday, October 12, 2008

Mark Wahlberg says shopped, George Michael is dropped, Robyn gets popped, and Other Celebolitics


Once again, proudly providing a cacophony of celebolitics, the weekend roundup is back.

Andy Samberg's best Dr. Doolittle impersonation has Mark Wahlberg's fur in a huff. On the bright side, Barky Bark probably won't have to turn down any more SNL guest host invitations.

Is Britney Spears channeling Sarah Palin as dominatrix? You be the judge.



Proving bare naked breasts are indeed beautiful, lip engorged Brangelina debuts Angie's nursing photos in the November issue of W.

Who exactly is Swedish pop singer Robyn? Whoever made this ding-dong think she could dis Madonna and live to tell about it needs an immediate refresher course in Peon 101.

For a saucy old broad, Cloris Leachman sure gets around. First sashaying her way to super stardom on DWTS, now recently named Grand Marshall for the 2009 Rose Bowl Parade. Is there anything outside this grand old dame's comfort zone?

The Brit Awards has reportedly dropped embattled pop star George Michael from its short list of lifetime achievement award contenders after his recent drug bust for cocaine and marijuana possession. I suppose all those lurid bathroom stall encounters didn't matter.

The McCain campaign must be going down in flames. Couldn't have been more than two weeks ago this late night talk show host sliced and diced the good Gentleman from Arizona.

Singer Leona Lewis just said no to animal product promotion. PETA's World's Sexiest Vegetarian refused a cool one million pounds to open a sale at Harrods, claiming the sale of such goods constitutes animal cruelty.

Disney's Bambi has been named top tear-jerker of all time and credited with turning Sir Paul McCartney into a lifelong vegetarian. Becoming somewhat outspoken in his old age, the cute Beatle recently launched a McDonald's boycott and issued a new album with lyrics trashing ex-wife Heather Mills.

R.I.P. Eileen Herlie. There was a time when my world revolved around the Fargates and that hussy Erica Kane.


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Road to White House Runs Through David Letterman

David Letterman fills a guest spot void with Keith Olbermann after John McCain cancels appearance at the last minute

"The economy is about to crater."

"Now that I'd like to see."

"Crater? I barely know her."

Bada bum.

But don't blame Letterman for what passed as witty repartee on last night's Late Night With David Letterman. After scheduled guest John McCain cancelled at the last minute, Dave struggled mightily to go on with the show.

I can only imagine the campaign's sorry cancellation call.

"Mr. Letterman? Uh, the Maverick has decided to suspend his presidential campaign to save our economy and he can't grace your show with his presence either. Make do with anything you can scrounge up around the studio (recently demoted MSNBC pundit Keith Olbermann was only too happy to oblige). Or suck it up, we don't care, there's work to be done inside the beltway." Click.

Yeah, buddy, well nobody puts Davey in the corner! Not even a powerful Senator of the U.S. Congress. We taxpayers don't care if we're about to take it up the wazoo for a gazillion dollar bailout or that Dubya's idea of saving the economy is to steal from the rich and give to the richer, we want our late night entertainment and we want it now!!

Clearly a bit of tension filled the studio as Dave's camera crew caught the GOP Nominee in a sit down with Katie Couric. You could have cut Dave's pride with a knife. Does McCain have any idea who he's tangling with?

At one point, Dave suggested McCain's surprise suspension of his run for the presidency was a ruse to counter sliding poll numbers, not a noble sacrifice to save the economy. He may have been joking, but the bite was unmistakable.

More so as he questioned McCain's failure to substitute "sexy babe" running mate Sarah Palin on the campaign trail. Gotta wonder what those two have been hiding. Heaven forbid the press should make mincemeat out of her before the election.

So, yeah, all the late night commotion got me thinking whether I want this sort of shoot from the hip style running the White House.

And here I thought Dave was a McCain supporter.


(video is over 9 minutes long but worth it. May disappear in foreseeable future)

[Source]