Showing posts with label Celebolitics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Celebolitics. Show all posts

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Muhammad Ali Iran Visit Depends on Health and Ability to Travel


While the world stews over the possible catastrophe of popsicles in heat, otherwise known as Japan's nuclear reactors crisis, two adventure-seeking hikers remain in Iranian prisons, fighting for their lives over espionage charges. A third hiker was released on bail and returned to the U.S. last September.

No way to know if they're innocent or not, but my gut instincts say, in all likelihood, these three crazy kids -- a journalist, economist, and teacher -- are not American spies. Idiots, maybe, for thinking they could simply hike across Iran, but not spies. What spy would be dumb enough to ignore warnings and simply hike into hostile territory like Iran?

To the rescue, like the flying butterfly/stinging bee that he is, former heavyweight champion Muhammad Ali has stepped up to the plate, writing letters to Iranian Grand Pubah, The Ayatollah Khamenei, in a bid to secure the hikers' release. So far, no dice. But that has not deterred Ali. Recently, the champ has been rumbling about a personal visit to the lunatic fringe.

"If we thought that they would be released and if Muhammad's presence would have some impact on that release for the good, then, yes, we would try very hard to make sure Muhammad was able to go," his wife Lonnie Ali said. "But a lot of that, as you know, would depend on Muhammad's health. That's the bottom line."

Muhammad Ali, a sufferer of Parkinson's disease, has barely been seen in the public eye over the past decade and no longer speaks in public. I doubt he is healthy enough to trek halfway around the world on a mission like this. Parkinson's is a very debilitating neuro-muscular condition that robs its victims of the ability to move, speak, and in the end, eat. Who is going to pay for the entourage required to care for Ali as he sets out on such mission? The hikers? Their bereaved families? President Obama?

It's quite noble of Ali to go out on a limb for the cause of naive and idealistic strangers. I applaud his efforts and appeals. But honestly, isn't all this talk about traveling to Iran to plead for their release just talk? A way to garner more publicity, either for the hikers' cause or for a fading icon? Ali is an expert in the art of bluster. Why should this time be any different?


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Thursday, October 16, 2008

Beastie Boys Rock for Barack

The Beastie Boys are performing live in concert to help get out the vote for Barack Obama

Taking the phrase "rock the vote" to a whole new level, The Beastie Boys have added three additional dates to their performance schedule in an effort to get out the vote.

Lucky ticket holders in Charlotte, NC, Richmond, VA, Youngstown, OH, St. Paul, MN, and Milwaukee, WI will get polling site and early voting information along with a rocking good time, including various guest performances from the likes of Norah Jones, Sheryl Crow, Jack Johnson, Ben Harper, Crosby & Nash, Santogold, and Tenacious D.

'We are going to do a few shows in hopes that we can remind people to vote,' the Beastie Boys said in a joint statement, adding that they are endorsing Sen. Barack Obama. 'This election is too important, too much is at stake to stay at home. We hope that you can come out, have a nice night, dance, sing, get your freak on, and then wake up the next morning and get everyone that you possibly can to get out and vote.'
Yeah, well, let's hope all those fans don't party too hardy. Otherwise, no one will be getting their "freak on" for Barack at the polls.

Wisely, the boys gave everyone at least a day to shake off the inevitable hangover.

[Source]


Sunday, October 12, 2008

Mark Wahlberg says shopped, George Michael is dropped, Robyn gets popped, and Other Celebolitics


Once again, proudly providing a cacophony of celebolitics, the weekend roundup is back.

Andy Samberg's best Dr. Doolittle impersonation has Mark Wahlberg's fur in a huff. On the bright side, Barky Bark probably won't have to turn down any more SNL guest host invitations.

Is Britney Spears channeling Sarah Palin as dominatrix? You be the judge.



Proving bare naked breasts are indeed beautiful, lip engorged Brangelina debuts Angie's nursing photos in the November issue of W.

Who exactly is Swedish pop singer Robyn? Whoever made this ding-dong think she could dis Madonna and live to tell about it needs an immediate refresher course in Peon 101.

For a saucy old broad, Cloris Leachman sure gets around. First sashaying her way to super stardom on DWTS, now recently named Grand Marshall for the 2009 Rose Bowl Parade. Is there anything outside this grand old dame's comfort zone?

The Brit Awards has reportedly dropped embattled pop star George Michael from its short list of lifetime achievement award contenders after his recent drug bust for cocaine and marijuana possession. I suppose all those lurid bathroom stall encounters didn't matter.

The McCain campaign must be going down in flames. Couldn't have been more than two weeks ago this late night talk show host sliced and diced the good Gentleman from Arizona.

Singer Leona Lewis just said no to animal product promotion. PETA's World's Sexiest Vegetarian refused a cool one million pounds to open a sale at Harrods, claiming the sale of such goods constitutes animal cruelty.

Disney's Bambi has been named top tear-jerker of all time and credited with turning Sir Paul McCartney into a lifelong vegetarian. Becoming somewhat outspoken in his old age, the cute Beatle recently launched a McDonald's boycott and issued a new album with lyrics trashing ex-wife Heather Mills.

R.I.P. Eileen Herlie. There was a time when my world revolved around the Fargates and that hussy Erica Kane.


Thursday, October 2, 2008

Celebrities Rally to Get Out the Vote: A Guide to Election 2008


Celebrity endorsements for president. Do we really care? Probably not.

What scares me about this video is knowing the names of everyone by sight. Okay, maybe one or two escape memory, but recognizing Giovanni Ribisi was a little scary. Yup, I spend too much time immersed in celebrity gossip. But I can't will myself away. Too much fun. Those who know and love me (and even those who don't) might as well get used to it.

With all the criticism -- good and bad -- about celebrities impacting the 2008 election, a star-studded cast put themselves on the line to debate an issue of vital national importance.

Getting YOU to the polls.

Think it doesn't matter? Uhm, no.

Even in non-battle ground states everyone, especially college students, have a duty and obligation to vote. If anything matters in this election, increasing voter participation and preventing voter fraud tops the list. It's our country and we can take it back, one citizen at a time. But we all must do our part.

In that spirit, I'm doing mine. An easy state by state voter guide appears below. Eligibility requirements, deadlines, and online registration links, they're all there for anyone who gives a flying fig.

Now it's your turn. No excuses. Register. NOW. Because in some places (*cough* Mississippi *ptuii*) the deadline is tomorrow!

Then vote on November 4th. Early.

Most states will allow everyone in line at poll closing time to vote. And if you get turned away, demand to see the precinct captain. Plop a provisional ballot in the captain's lap and take a cell phone picture. You can always file a complaint with the election board if your state results become a point of contention.

Remember Election 2000!

Never again.


Alabama

Alaska

Arizona

Arkansas

California

Colorado

Connecticut [Bill of Rights]

Delaware

D.C.

Florida

Georgia

Hawaii [Register Here]

Idaho

Illinois

Indiana

Iowa

Kansas

Kentucky [Deadline] [Register]

Louisiana [Deadline]

Maine [Register]

Maryland

Massachusetts

Michigan [Register]

Minnesota

Mississippi [Deadline] [Register]

Missouri [Register]

Montana [Deadline]

Nebraska [Register]

Nevada

New Hampshire

New Jersey

New Mexico [Register]

New York

North Carolina

North Dakota [No Deadline]

Ohio

Oklahoma

Oregon

Pennsylvania [Deadline and Registration]

Rhode Island [Deadline] [Register]

South Carolina

South Dakota [Register]

Tennessee [Deadline] [Register]

Texas [Deadline]

Utah [Deadline]

Vermont

Virginia [Deadline] [Register]

Washington

West Virginia [Deadline] [Register]

Wisconsin

Wyoming [Deadline]



Register from anywhere in the U.S.

Additional Resource

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Hayden Panettiere Sets the Record Straight




Poster child for "The Truth About Celebrity Politics."

See more Judd Apatow videos at Funny or Die


Thursday, September 11, 2008

Like A Really Bad Disney Movie



Where pitbulls wear lipstick and hockey moms pee on your leg telling you it's raining.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Babs Slams Palin, Garth Goes Wailin', and Gandolfini Sets Sail'n

In today's wrap of mundane celebrity gossip...

James Gandolfini marries Deborah Lin - Photo courtesy of Starsurf/Splash News Online
In a surprise weekend wedding, The Sopranos big kahuna, James Gandolfini married fashion model fiance Deborah Lin. The happy couple tied the knot before 200 friends and family in Lin's hometown of Honolulu, Hawaii.

Does anyone care that the boy they said who couldn't might be quietly dating the girl of his dreams? Rumor has it that eight time in one Olympic champ Michael Phelps is planning a cozy rendezvous with American Idol star Carrie Underwood when he visits Nashville, Tennessee.

Still coming off its record breaking ratings, the Democratic National Convention continues to tally up the stars. Compiled from various sources, A-listers on the scene in Denver include Stevie Wonder, Oprah Winfrey, Steven Spielberg, Kanye West, Jamie Foxx, Charlize Theron, Anne Hathaway, John Legend, Jennifer Garner, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Lopez, Ashley Judd, Bono, Spike Lee, Ben Affleck, Cicely Tyson, Lou Gossett Jr., Alfre Woodard, Blair Underwood, Danny Glover, Pete Wentz, Cyndi Lauper, Ellen Burstyn, Kal Penn, Tony Goldwyn, Alan Cumming, Susan Sarandon, Tim Daly, Josh Lucas, Rachael Leigh Cook, Angela Basset, Matthew Modine, Rufus Wainright, Melissa Etheridge, Annette Bening, Sheryl Crow, Fergie, Rosario Dawson, will.i.am, Lily Cole, Kerry Washington, Richard Dreyfuss, Ashanti, Sarah Silverman, Chevy Chase, Giancarlo Esposito, Dave Matthews, Dana Delaney, Tim Daly, Gloria Reuben, Richard Schiff, Herbie Hancock, Chris Daughtry, Charles Barkley, Muhammad Ali, Idina Menzel, and Forest Whitaker, just to name a few.

And speaking of stars mixing their noses in politics, Barbra Streisand lashes out at candidate John McCain for his choice of a running mate. The former Hillary Clinton supporter who now backs Barack Obama calls Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin "a transparent and irresponsible decision all in the name of trying to win this election." Guess certain people don't need people as badly as the presumptive Republican nominee had hoped.

"There were times when being in the show was worse than high school. The environment there was like, 'Are you kidding me?' There was a lot of tension and unnecessary drama on the set, a certain amount of competition, and a certain, probably, anger about different salaries as the years progressed." So says Jennie Garth about her days in the 1990s fast lane, Beverly Hills 90210. The actress who is slated to star in the CW's 90210 sequel also claims turmoil on the original set turned her into an agoraphobic.

In a sad role reversal of victim and victimizer, Dame Helen Mirren recounts being date-raped, yet downgrades the possibility of sending perpetrators to prison. Women's rights groups are seeing red. Guess all those years of cocaine binging may have addled someone's brain.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Jonas Brothers Spark White House Fever and Wax Probing

Imagine you're a member of the White House Press Corps, ready to rumble your otherwise humdrum existence with a vetting of the President's Press Secretary when suddenly a gaggle of teen magazine and entertainment news reporters descend upon the room, complete with teeny-boppers in tow.

Many of the over thirty crowd had no idea who had rolled into town. But don't count sexagenarian Dick Cheney among them. The colorful V.P. brought his grandchildren to work yesterday for the chance to meet The Jonas Brothers, one of the hottest musical acts in America.

Can you guess which fans smell of oil holdings and hunting rifles?

Fans pose with The Jonas Brothers at the White House Press Corps - Photo courtesy of Fox 5 News

Fans pose with The Jonas Brothers at the White House Press Corps - Photo courtesy of Fox 5 News

Neither can I. But that never stopped me from ridiculing blatant nepotism.

Nick, Joe and Kevin Jonas arrived in the nation's capital to attend a public briefing on diabetes and tape a National Parks public service announcement. White House officials later ushered the band into a downstairs area to sign a little known wall of with celebrity autographs.

Well look at that. The most powerful men in the free world get star struck just like the rest of us. Only difference is they can scratch their inner stalker any time with a trip to the underground Grauman's Chinese Theatre Mini-Me. Try constructing something like that in your basement.

Joe Jonas seemed especially humbled to add his signature to the prestigious collection of celebrity ink scratchings.

"There's other names up there that are just astounding, some of our favorite artists and politicians," he said. "But it's going to be really cool to see that in 10 years, 20 years from now."



Watch raw footage of The Jonas Brothers news conference here

From there, it was on to Madame Tussauds Wax Museum for the unveiling of their "yummy dummies." Fans hungrily groped the fakes long after the boys made their exit.

In and around Washington, lucky bystanders took advantage of the opportunity to rub elbows with the Camp Rock stars.

The Jonas Brothers pose with wax replicas at Madame Tussauds Wax Museum in Washington, D.C. - Photo courtesy of Getty Images/Paul Morigi and E!Online


Just goes to show when it comes to fashion, these guys could still use some styling. If not for the matching wedding singer shoes, I'd be willing to bet it was the doppelganger gripping the mike.

[Source]

Friday, August 15, 2008

Ellen DeGeneres to Wed, Jackson Browne Seeing Red, and Lindsay Sharing Bed

You clamoured for mundane celebrity gossip and we're going to give it to you. Another edition of The Weekly Wrap of Crap.

Jackson Browne filed a lawsuit for infringement of copyright against John McCain and the RNC for unauthorized songs running in campaign advertisments - Photo courtesy of Variety
McCain and the RNC finally went too far. Musician Jackson Browne is the latest aggrieved celebrity with a beef against the Senator from Arizona. Browne joins an ever expanding list of celebrities with copyright infringement claims against McCain and the Republican Party, including Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Paris Hilton, ABBA, and John Mellencamp. Ohio RNC chairman Robert Bennett pulled the ad after Browne filed suit in L.A. U.S. District Court.

Contrary to persistent rumors, Madonna is not adopting another child. Or maybe she is. We're so confused. Madonna's rep Liz Rosenberg has been known to issue misleading news in the past.

Ben Stiller continues to battle backlash against his latest film Tropic Thunder. But not for the reasons most people suspect. Apparently, Stiller is an equal opportunity offender, placing Caucasian actor Robert Downey, Jr. in black face, and repeatedly using the "r" word to refer to developmentally challenged children.

BET debuts a cross between Keith Olbermann and Bill Maher with a black perspective this Friday at 11 p.m. Entertainment news program The Truth With Jeff Johnson is the latest entry in the political entertainment genre.

It's wedding bells for DeGeneres and de Rossi. Popular talk show host Ellen DeGeneres and fiance Portia de Rossi plan to wed in a same-sex ceremony this weekend.

Get a chance to see what life looks like through the eyes of a famous celebrity. A-list stars donated their eyeglasses for an eBay charity auction benefiting Sightsavers International. Bidding ends on August 24th. Money from the auction will fund the work of the international blindness charity in 33 countries across Africa, Asia and the Caribbean to prevent and cure blindness and support people who are permanently blind or visually impaired. Former spectacle owners include Sir Michael Caine, designer Bruce Oldfield, George Michael, and Ewan McGregor.

Elizabeth Edwards is reportedly anguished over husband John's admitted affair with a campaign aide. Edwards was "unprepared for the amount of disgust and how swiftly everything else he had done in his career would be wiped away, and ... really reeling from that and afraid what it will do to their legacy as a couple and what their children will inherit." Maybe Edwards should have considered the scum sucking fallout before hopping into bed with a flooze.

Check out the "Celebs to Watch Out For" list. Paparazzi, you've been warned.

It's official. Lindsay Lohan confirms sharing a bed with lover Samantha Ronson. Lohan hasn't been with a man since the two started dating. Reportedly Sam has a real calming effect on the former wild child and the two are inseparable. Any relationship helping Lindsay tone down her hard partying ways is a big plus in my eyes.

Weight loss stories sell magazines. Just ask actress Jennifer Love Hewitt. After admonishing the tabloids for shining the spotlight on her cellulite, she encouraged women to be proud of their own bodies whatever shape or size. Now the star of Ghost Whisperer announces dropping 18 pounds in 10 weeks. "I am in a pretty good workout regimen that I like, so it inspired me to keep it up," Hewitt told US Magazine. Her trainer claims she didn't drop the weight to look good in a dress but failed to offer any other plausible motivation.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Dissecting Angelina Jolie Politics Won't Secure Seat at the Lunch Table



Oh those MSNBC celebrity puff pieces. Wherever would The Spewker be without them?

It's a news broadcast. It's a gossip tabloid. No silly, it's two, two, two "this-country-is-going-to-hell-in-a-handbag" moments in one.

Yes, I feel like a "celebretard" following the political nuances of actress and UN Goodwill Ambassador Angelina Jolie. Doesn't everybody?

So, she's an independent who hasn't endorsed a presidential candidate. So what? Will it matter to the middle class when she decides whose political platform best serves starving children in Africa? Do working poor care about the world refugee crisis when they can't pay their own heating bills?

Could Bob Costas be any more of an insensitive neanderthal peppering President Bush with questions while possible Olympic swimming history unfolds?

I love how Keith Olberman uses VH-1's Paul Tompkins as political sounding board. Like the Hannity & Colmes of Politicelebritopia, this spot plays like a mathlete dissecting the cool clique's perceived shortcomings, jealous of all the fawning attention paid Jolie, emasculating her baby daddy as "press agent," and whining about her making him feel bad.

A pathetic longing for a seat at the Jolie-Pitt-Clooney lunch table disguised as investigative reporting. As if.




Monday, August 11, 2008

The George Clooney Curse, Lohan Christian Values, and Other Celebolitic Shorts

Honest Abe awaits his close up on the red carpet
This site isn't the only one mixing up politics and celebrities. In today's "Bastard Child," a sampling of mutant celebolitic spawn from around the country.

Does dating George Clooney cause a curse on future hapiness? Yes, according to Britain's Next Top Model judge Lisa Snowden. "It's not something I planned but I just don't get asked out any more. Men seem to look at me and think, 'She went out with George Clooney, what chance have I got?'" The 36-year old model also says her five year on-again-off-again relationship with Clooney hurt her career.

Australian Idol winner Kate DeAraugo won't be hawking diet products on behalf of weight loss conglomerate Jenny Craig. Citing "personal health issues," the break-out star is otherwise mum about the reason for the split.

Actor Richard Dreyfus wants his money back. In a lawsuit filed last Friday against his father and uncle, Dreyfus claims damages of $870,000.

Michael Lohan says his Christian faith would prevent him from giving away famous daughter Lindsay in a gay wedding ceremony. When discussing Lindsay's public love affair with DJ Samantha Ronson, Lohan insists he wants his daughter "to be happy." Guess that Christian faith didn't get in the way of puportedly fathering Lindsay's illegitimate half-sister Ashley.

The "Lonely Loony" aka the "Lusty Lord of the Manor of Warleigh" David Piper, who once advertised for a Lady of the Manor and attracted applications from all around the world, is selling "his whole life" on eBay and hasn't ruled out the possibility of throwing himself into the bargain.

I pity the fool who thinks Mr. T is homophobic. Nevertheless, T pelted a wiggling yellow clad speed walker with candy bars, screaming "You are a disgrace to the man race. It's time to run like a real man" and "Get some nuts!" in a UK Snickers commercial. The ad was pulled after gay rights groups complained.



A dispute over a 1988 film of the late Rodney Dangerfield has been settled. Dangerfield's daughter, Melanie Roy-Friedman, allowed Comedy Central to air the master copy of her father's act without permission from stepmother Joan. Under the terms of settlement all copyrights to Dangerfield's act are held by his widow, Joan Dangerfield.

The upcoming Democratic National Convention promises a roster of stars reading like a Hollywood premiere. Big name celebrities are expected to attend parties hosted by AT&T, MTV, and Rock The Vote. Kanye West, Wyclef Jean, the rap/rock fusion band N.E.R.D., Ben Affleck, Scarlett Johansson, Warren Beatty, Annette Bening, Forrest Whitaker, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Cheryl Hines, and Ed Norton Jr. are just a few of the A-Listers convention spokesman Chris Lopez will neither confirm nor deny are on the guest list.

Can't decide who to vote for in the upcoming presidential election? Why bother with political platforms when pop culture icons might influence the vote? John McCain favors Batman, ABBA, Roy Orbison, Linda Ronstadt, Usher, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld, Dexter, Indian Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and Dennis Hasbert in 24. Barack Obama favors Batman, Spiderman, Frank Sinatra, Bob Dylan, Sheryl Crow, John Coltrane, M*A*S*H, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Shrek the Third, and Jeff Bridges in The Contender.




Monday, August 4, 2008

David Arquette Struts Obama Stuff and Other Celebolitic Shorts

Marilyn Lincoln is today's bastard child
This site isn't the only one mixing up politics and celebrities. In today's "Bastard Child" feature, a sampling of mutant celebolitic spawn from around the country.

Is the "man-tango" too shocking for prime time TV? Celebrities weigh in on former 'N Sync star Lance Bass possibly dancing with a same-sex partner on ABC's Dancing With the Stars. The show's Season 7 cast will be announced on the August 25th broadcast of Good Morning America.

Little Coco Arquette's doting dad made an attractive fashion statement for Barack Obama. Better late than never, buzzchrome.

Hoisted "by his own petard." Sorry, but there's something hilariously funny about John McCain preceding the word "petard" in the same sentence. The belabored controversy over who's the biggest celebrity politician, Obama or McCain is starting to grate on my nerves. Who cares about McCain's scrubbing his website of celebrity references? Isn't it time for the candidates to explain their positions on more important issues like healthcare, the economy, energy development, and securing our borders?

Congressional legislation has become so boring they're packaging it as a movie preview to grab attention. Are the editors of The Congressional Record just frustrated screenwriters in disguise?


And speaking of screenwriters, now they're mining movie dialogue for political "truth." Oh brother. Valliant effort, but just another rehash of movies with a political theme. Where's the insight, the truth, the pizzazz? Maybe the line between celebrities and politics is so blurred, even a seasoned reporter can't separate fact from fiction.




Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Dueling McCain and Obama Ads Knock Out Media

The latest development on the campaign trail is too good to be true. Presumptive Republican nominee John McCain managed to take the meaning of the term "celebrity politics" to a whole new level.

Gentlemen, to your corners. Everybody ready? Okay, then. Let's get ready to rummmmm-bbbbble (are you ready for this).

... doo do da de de doo doo, doo do da de de do do ...

In this corner, weighing in at a svelte 170 pounds, America's favorite former POW, John Mc-Cain!



And in this corner, down to the slim trim fighting weight of 198 pounds," the biggest celebrity in the world," Ba-rack O-ba-ma!


Say hello to our panel of judges, everyone. A media so concerned with making talking points, they've turned on themselves. Talk about lack of substance in a campaign, don't be surprised if our judges go down for the count.

...and the colored girl goes, do dah do dah do dah do de oh, do dah do dah do dah do de oh. Hey girl, come and walk on the wild side
...

Not meaning any disrespect, but can't help myself. The McCain ad portraying Obama as a vapid celebutante is hilarious. Who ever thought a serious political candidate would use images of Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in an attack? Are McCain's campaign advisors not aware of Britney's recent comeback makeover? I mean, the girl hasn't run over any paparazzi or crashed her car in months.

Sure hope they cleared the use of her image through proper channels. Ditto for Paris Hilton. I doubt either one would allow use of their images gratis.

FYI, Britney's temporary conservatorship is back in court today. She'd be crazy to cut ties with her father seeing how he's apparently turned her life around. But then Brit isn't known for her keen intellect.

Do you think McCain is trying to make that kind of comparison with Obama? Because if so, it's not going to fly. Harvard Law Review Editor, fellows. Only black man in the U.S. Senate. Best-selling book author. Co-sponsor of important transparency in government legislation. Come on, give the man his due. He's very intelligent. Has to be with that list of accomplishments.

Obama's summary dismissal of McCain's charges also made me chuckle. If his ad runs a month from now, no one will know what he's talking about. Then again, maybe his campaign intended a generic rebuttal. That way he can run the ad at any time to any charges levied against him and look like he's paying attention.

What I like about Obama's rebuttal is that it finally highlights his energy policies, a decisive factor for me in this campaign. Obama is shooting for the moon when it comes to energy. If he can successfully hit the target, it will be Camelot the sequel.

McCain's ad says nothing about the man McCain, nor what he intends to do as president. It's also somewhat deceptive. Obama's energy policies are not reliant upon an increase in foreign oil. At the very least, the McCain camp could get their facts straight.

Ooooo. And there he goes down for the count. The crowd goes wild. Can the war hero recover? I don't know, Sheilah, it looks like there's blood dripping down his chin. But then McCain comes from tougher stock than that, just take a look at the man's mother. There she is in the front row yelling at him to get off the floor. Wait. I see a muscle twitch. He's getting back up. Thank heavens -- ding ding ding -- saved by the bell.




Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Gordon Brown is Upside Down and Other Celebolitic Shorts

Mutant spawn at The Spewker where celebrities and politics meet and mingle
This site isn't the only one mixing up politics and celebrities. A sampling of mutant celebolitic spawn to tickle your funny bone.

The UK's Prime Minister isn't scoring brownie points for his "Government of All the Talents." This is the second time we've observed the media taking Gordon Brown to task for hobnobbing with the stars. Sour grapes from the trade unions perhaps, although what politician in their right mind would eschew glitterati in favor of commoners?

Tennis champs Venus and Serena Williams are two celebrities who won't be endorsing a presidential candidate, though both seem excited by Barack Obama's candidacy. The pairs' Jehovah's Witness beliefs discourage voting and prohibit involvement in political affairs. Oh, those crazy mixed-up Witnesses, don't they care who throws out the first ball at the U.S. Open?

Here's a blogger who supports celebrity political involvement, reasoning celebrities pique teen curiosity in political causes. Maybe. But wouldn't they be just as likely to watch MTV? Activism comes from more than just celebrity fanaticism. On the other hand, following a politically active celebrity exposes teens to news they might not otherwise stumble upon. That's a step in the right direction even if the teen in question eventually becomes a moral degenerate drinking beer all night in their parents' living room.

When John Mayer isn't busy cheating on Jen in a fantasy dream, he's busy playing cat and mouse with the paparazzi. Mayer must fancy himself the "Jerry" in this developing sideline but with one notable exception. The mouse in Tom and Jerry didn't hang with an uber-famous girlfriend. And Mayer has a notable reputation as a "Tom."

Glory be, someone has written an entire book on this topic! And I thought we were the ones who invented it. Looks like our fledgling book project was all for naught. Oh well. Back to the drawing board.



Thursday, July 17, 2008

Susan Atkins and Her Manson Family Should Remain Imprisoned

Manson Family murder site shows PIG spelled in blood across the door of the house of Sharon Tate
Tell me, tell me, tell me your answer. You may be a lover, but you aint no dancer. Look out. Helter Skelter. She coming down fast.

-The Beatles, Helter Skelter
.


By all accounts, 1969 was a year of tremendous upheaval.

Neil Armstrong made his famous moon landing. The gay rights movement officially took root. Ted Kennedy found himself embroiled in the infamous Chappaquiddick drowning scandal. First troops were withdrawn from Vietnam as protest marches became a regular occurrence in the nation's capital.

And sometime during the late hours of August 9th, in a picturesque L.A. rental property on Cielo Drive, five horrific murders took place, one of the most heinous and brutal crimes of the twentieth century. Hollywood was aghast.

Called to the scene the next morning by the maid's hysterical ramblings, police quickly discovered enchanting young actress Sharon Tate, eight months pregnant and awaiting the return of husband director Roman Polanski from abroad, savagely stabbed with evidence of hanging. Other victims included Folgers Coffee heiress Abigail Folger, her boyfriend Wojciech (Voyteck) Frykowski, and Sharon's ex fiance Jay Sebring (b. Thomas John Kummer), all house guests, as well as Steve Parent, an acquaintance of the property's caretaker William Garretson.

There was so much blood at the scene, police initially mistook Abigail's white nightgown for red. The killers took advantage of the ample supply, writing "PIG" in bold letters on the home's front door.

Crime scene photos of Sharon Tate murders purposefully whited out for viewing
At the time, my limited comprehension of current events, pop culture, and the significance of that particular decade left me focusing on more mundane matters like the transition from grade school to junior high and whether boys were finding me attractive. Clueless about one of my all-time favorite bands, The Beatles, teetering on the brink of break-up, I had only vague inklings of distress in the State of California.

In June of that year, John Lennon and Yoko Ono staged their famous Canadian "bed in," a protest against the Vietnam War. The anthem of their political soiree, Give Peace A Chance, became a rallying cry against all wars to come. That was the first time any of the Fab Four had released a solo recording. In a way, that demonstration of peaceful activism was also an act of defiance and separation that heralded the beginning of the end.

In fact, many film makers symbolize that time period with The Doors song, The End, a nod to the end of life or relationships, depending upon what you believe. The end of a decade, The Beatles, and the Vietnam War symbolically all tied together, although in retrospect the latter two occurred some years later.

Right before it all unraveled, in the winter of 1968, The Beatles had released their legendary White Album, so dubbed because the front cover was completely blank with no writing other than the group's name. Rock and roll would never be the same.

The album was a cacophony of styles, genres, and sounds mixed together in such a way as to lull the unsuspecting into a state of complacency, then shake their very core with the next rendition. There was no rhyme or reason, no discernible theme. People played the album backwards, claiming to find hidden messages foretelling death and demise. Tales of the recording sessions include George running around with a flaming ashtray on top of his head and Ringo throwing drum sticks across the room. There's a cut of him complaining about bleeding fingers after numerous takes of a particular song.

Little did anyone know that song and another cut from the album, Revolution 9, would come to symbolize the chaos and horror of an insidious darkness unleashed on the City of Angels. In the summer of '69, the slaughter of Sharon Tate and friends weren't the only gruesome murders scaring the bejeebies out of locals. Only years later seeing the first release of the movie Helter Skelter did I come to realize the enormity of the atrocities that had taken place at Cielo Drive.

La Bianca murders show Helter Skelter at the crime scene
The Beatles' Helter Skelter is an emotionally raw juxtaposition of opposites. Do you/don't you. Get to the bottom/go back to the top. Coming down fast/I'm miles above. Charles Manson, the sociopathic ringleader of it all, believed these White Album lyrics spoke directly to him. Before exiting the related LaBianca murder scene, his devoted followers used their victims' blood to scrawl the misspelled song title across the kitchen refrigerator. Other blood references throughout the Tate/LaBianca properties appeared to refer to various songs from the album.

WARNING: The trailer of the re-enactment of those events is bloody, vile, and terrifying. Not suitable for children under age 13. Watch at your own risk.

In 1994, new owners demolished the Polanski/Tate rental property, replacing what remained with a towering modern structure overlooking Benedict Canyon. I can sympathize with their predicament. When an event that stands at the crossroads of history and pop takes place inside your residence, thrill seekers and ghost busters have a way of running ramrod.

Too much has been written, reported, and documented about the perpetrators of those crimes. Too much to go into detail here. Charles Manson and depraved members of the infamous "Manson Family" -- Tex Watson, Pat Krenwinkle, Susan Atkins, and Leslie Van Houten -- were tried, convicted and sentenced to die for their participation. Historians credit Linda Kasabian, another perpetrator acting as look-out during the Tate murders, for the eyewitness testimony she provided in exchange for immunity.

Significantly, it was Atkins who originally agreed to testify against Charlie and other Manson Family defendants. Prosecutors were only too happy to offer the deal to Kasabian when Atkins, who had previously admitted her involvement to a Grand Jury, declined to go forward at trial.

California's death penalty was subsequently ruled unconstitutional, commuting the sentences of one hundred seven death row inmates to "other than death." Manson Family inmates all got life with the possibility of parole, a spate of reprieve or living hell depending upon one's sense of justice.

Several months later, the California electorate amended their constitution to reinstate the death penalty; however, the new law could not be applied retroactively to any of those one hundred seven prisoners. That small window of time allowed Manson and his devotees of depravity to become subjects of fascination for generations to come. Had they been executed as originally sentenced, their story would not have been embellished with the insane byproducts of lengthy incarceration, nipping a bizarre developing cult following squarely in the bud.

Every three, five, or seven years, Manson Family parole hearings are the subject of tabloid fodder and wide speculation, i.e. will this be the year one of them rejoins society? This summer, Susan Atkins applied for a compassionate release, tearfully claiming she has done her time and has been rehabilitated. One of her legs has been amputated and she is reportedly dying of brain cancer. Her current husband whom she married in prison, also tearfully plead for her release. In 1993, her court appointed lawyer strongly advocated for parole, saying Susan had been rehabilitated over the years and deserved a second chance. Her current lawyer makes the same argument.

I've watched hours upon hours of interviews with Manson, Atkins, Kasabian, even a Maury Povich special where another man Atkins had married in prison claimed she had stabbed him in a possible fit of jealousy, allegedly on the fourth day of their jailhouse honeymoon. The same guy claims to have married forty-five different women so I have to take what he says with a grain of salt although, when he pulled up his shirt to reveal a long scar over a considerably large stomach, a wave of nausea rose in my throat.

In reflecting upon the summer of '69 for this article, I firmly believe all convicted Manson Family members should live out their days in captivity. It is only due to a fluke of justice that they remain alive today. Charles Manson functions with brain impulses so far removed from accepted societal norms, he could never be considered safe around the general populace.

As for Atkins and her fellow imprisoned "family" members, release would signal to a new generation of depraved devotees the possibility of committing the most heinous of crimes and living to see the outside of a prison cell. That, to me, would be incomprehensible, certainly not a message I would want to send to anyone with the slightest inclination of unleashing similar depths of evil again.

Thankfully, the California Parole Board agreed.

Juxtaposed imagery of Charles Manson before he became a sociopath and aftermath





Monday, July 14, 2008

Stray Cat Bar Brawl Raises Specter of Bias on Josh Brolin Arrest

Shreveport Louisiana police arrested Josh Brolin after a bar fight
Gotta love townsfolk who make political hay out of actor Josh Brolin's recent Shreveport, Louisiana arrest. For the record, reports of actor Jeffrey Wright being maced and stun-gunned are being played down by local authorities.

If any gossip could upstage the birth of Brangelina's twins, it's a politically charged Southern brawl.

The fracas let loose last Saturday night (or Sunday morning, take your pick) when cast and crew of Oliver Stone's ambitious Bush dynasty epic, "W," refused to exit the Stray Cat Bar. Set and lighting technician Eric Felland, allegedly behaving like a drunken ignoramus, clashed with management, prompting the arrival of a slew of local police to clean house. Four police cars and several bicycle police reportedly descended on the scene.

Josh became "embrolined" in the ensuing fray and was arrested for interfering with police, a misdemeanor. Jeffrey was, shall we say, at the "wright" place, but at the wrong time. Both posted bail and were released.

Cinematical raises the specter of bias, questioning whether the arrests reflect a desire to teach Hollywood a lesson rather than simply keep the peace. The police report is so lacking in detail, I have to wonder whether Shreveport "good 'ol boys" purposefully hid their witness notes to deflect criticism.

What I can't get over is how people like "Peter Wabbit," come out of the woodwork to heap a helping of good old fashioned prejudice on this Hollywood smackdown:

Brolin must get his looks from his Mom. Ain't much to look at is he? Too bad Oliver Stone, Michael Moore, and Spike Lee weren't involved. I'd love to see them all 'Coon Eyed'. Southern Polices will straighten you out.
Coon-eyed? That's a term of endearment I haven't heard much lately. From what I understand, it means black-eyed, as in beaten up, something I suppose lisping confederate boy would like to see happen to Hollywood's more notable "liberal" directors. Southern Polices? Now that's just poor grammar.

Do the views of lisping confederate boy reflect an inbred prejudicial attitude in Southern police departments? I don't know. Let's put it this way, I've heard stories. Incidents like this only serve to confirm my own inbred prejudices about Southern justice, a crying shame in twenty-first century America.

I'll end this jaunt into politically charged territory with one prediction. Thanks to the actions of these keystone cops, you won't see Hollywood filing many more film permit applications in Shreveport, LA. Heck, they may have single-handedly stopped filings for film permits anywhere south of Georgia.

Except Florida and Texas. That's real "W" terrain.


Update: This story seems to have morphed into a nasty brawl of its own. The comments at Hollywood Elsewhere, one of our sources for this article, quickly reached the level of smackdown, ending with a desire for a more thorough investigation. Good. Without hard facts, we were left to extrapolate from cursory reports.

The original Shreveport Times article now has links to follow-up stories, reports, and downloads. Details about the brawl and arrests are still hard to come by.

As for our links to the "Peter Wabbit" user profile and comments, they have mysteriously disappeared. Yes, someone at The Shreveport Times removed these comments, and the user profile is now under investigation. This development is somewhat curious, especially since police are refusing to release tapes of the arrest to the media.

If "Peter Wabbit" crossed the line by wanting to see certain Hollywood elite "coon-eyed," so be it. It is, however, a real loss that people can no longer verify the accuracy of my report. Up until the time I reprinted the offensive comments, the user profile and comments remained undisturbed.

Josh Brolin bar brawl comments removed from Shreveport Times


The member used a confederate flag as their avatar (hence the "confederate" reference). And while I cannot verify that a person who substitutes w's for r's (hence the "lisping" reference) is in fact of the male persuasion, I can attest to a user profile that appeared to describe a male (hence the "boy" reference). My reference to "lisping confederate boy" was a parody of the user name and avatar, nothing more; however, it strikes me as rather odd that the Shreveport Times found nothing particularly offensive about this member until our article hit the blogosphere.


Monday, June 30, 2008

Kid Rock Says It's Okay to Steal

Kid Rock speaks out on illegally downloading music and other property
Money is getting tight. Just look at the stock market. Better yet, listen to the grumblings of the Screen Actors Guild. Don't think those puppies won't go on strike, throwing a monkey wrench in the fall TV schedule like the writers did last holiday season. You know things are bad when supposedly filthy rich actors try to squeeze every possible penny from a handful of greedy studio heads.

Looks like the bad economy may be causing an increase in intellectual property theft. Even with a Justice Department crackdown, the problem festers. People want their cake and to eat it too. So what if they've maxed out their credit cards, at least their iPods are stocked with the latest tunes.

A penny saved is not a penny earned when it's stolen from the pockets of artistic talent. Artists are able to live off money generated from the sale of their intellectual property only because law abiding citizens actually buy it. Is a lousy dollar too much to ask for a single download?

Apparently so. Folks who rationalize illegal downloading as harmless behavior don't equate such activity with stealing. That's why the FBI is up to its neck in this type of sting operations. Someone has to stop the leeching.

But wait. Someone else is stepping up to the plate. Why....it's....Kid Rock? Yep, that Kid Rock, Kirstey's Alley's fantasy boy toy. Who would have known that a scuzzy looking party maniac was such an intellectual? Smart enough to expose the fallacy of illegal download rationalizations by taking them to their logical conclusion. Why not steal everything else in sight too?

(WARNING: This video contains objectionable language. Play only if you are over the age of 18 and not easily offended by colorful idioms)


Makes sense and I love it. Finally, the ruin unleashed by unethical behavior explained in terms even a moron could understand.

Thanks, Kid.



Thursday, June 12, 2008

Nancy Sinatra Walks Those Boots Down to Capitol Hill

Remember the days when aspiring musicians and record studio bigwigs begged and bribed radio disc jockeys to promote certain songs on the airwaves?

Everyone fantasized about befriending Wolfman Jack, DJ extraordinaire, immortalized in Harrison Ford's film debut, American Graffiti. DJs like the Wolfman used to sit high and mighty, not because their bosses paid such exorbitant salaries (traditionally they did not), but because of extravagant entertainment perks associated with their positions of power.

As with most good things, those days have outlived their useful lifespan. The music industry as a whole has become more techno savvy in the way it reaches the public, using the Internet for its music promotion. Once online music sampling became a firmly entrenched public listening habit, the resulting backlash against DJs and radio stations became inevitable. Just as eBooks have to some degree sidestepped the publishing industry, today's musicians and record labels can now sidestep the DJs.

This week on Capitol Hill looked more like a golden oldies concert than private citizens convening before lawmakers. Hendogg from The Sugarhill Gang and Frank Sinatra's little 69-year old girl Nancy testified before a House Judiciary Subcommittee in support of The Performance Rights Act, a bill currently pending before both the House and Senate. Its counterpart, The Local Radio Freedom Act has its share of supporters on the other side.

I'll try to boil down the gist of the bill so that even a Yahweh doomsday cultist could understand. Radio stations have always paid a fee to songwriters and composers for the privilege to play their songs while musicians and record labels received bupkus. The privilege of having their music played was somehow deemed enough.

But the times, they are a'changin'. The Performance Rights Act would do away with this lingering inequity, leveling the playing field between radio, Internet download sites, satellite music stations, and cable music channels. Under the bill's provisions, radio stations would pay a flat yearly fee to compensate performers and record studios for their intellectual property. Some believe such compensation is way overdue.


Don't think broadcasters simply turned over and played dead. On the flip side, they lamented radio industry struggles, claiming financial burdens of the record industry aren't their problem. They also claimed performers are conferred benefits of air time in exchange for music play, and that Congress shouldn't rely on foreign law to decide the outcome because those laws are not analogous.

Sure hope Nancy got her collagen enhanced lips out of the way when those broadcasters came out swinging. Has anyone else noticed it's no longer her boots that do the walk'n?

Anyway, I'm with the performance artists on this one. If radio stations don't want to pay, they have no right to play. So what if changes in the law sink their business models? Create a new format, for crying out loud. The free market will eventually decide where people go to discover new music. Actors wouldn't dream of playing a part without entitlement to residuals. Why should performance artists suffer from an outdated form of corporate welfare?

FYI, in the interests of full disclosure, I'm still carrying stock in Sirius Radio. Never once did its piss poor performance influence my opinion for a fair outcome in this matter.


Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Celebrity Censorship Establishes Dangerous Precedent

While we were sunning and funning in L.A., the world definitely took leave of its senses, at least that's my sorry conclusion after viewing this segment of Howard Kurtz's Reliable Sources.

Talk about a mixture of celebrities, politics, and media, here are nine plus minutes of informative topical banter leaving me convinced more than ever of too much media power in the wrong hands leading to unhealthy consequences, specifically self-censorship, something freedom lovers everywhere should recognize as a treacherous slide down a slippery slope. Change effected today is free expression squelched tomorrow, meaning we can't have our cake and eat it too. The opinion you suppress today may one day be your own.



Remarks of columnists Ray Richmond and Sharon Waxman are illustrative. Richmond pretty much bashes Oprah Winfrey, blaming her recent dip in ratings on media overexposure rather than her endorsement of presidential candidate Barack Obama. Inexplicably, he also takes credit for making Oprah politically active. Waxman and Kurtz go in a different direction, pointing to the endorsement as a key factor in the alienation of Oprah fans, but citing other unrelated factors as the possible cause for her rating woes.

But the most disturbing part of the segment was the Rachel Ray ad campaign for Dunkin Donuts. Corporate pulled print ads of Ray wrapped in what appeared to be a kaffiyeh scarf, a symbol of Palestinian terrorism in parts of the free world. I am by no means a terrorist sympathizer, nor do I support Islamic fascism. But honestly, a scarf as political statement in print ads for doughnuts? Get real. Ray has horrible taste, yes, but to label her a terrorist sympathizer through a media blitz which eventually forced the company to censor its own ad campaign establishes a very dangerous precedent.

What's next? Shows like The Sopranos are never produced because they offend the sensibilities of Italian-Americans? Ads with actors draped in orange and black can't be shown in New York because they're too reminiscent of The Baltimore Orioles? Where do you draw the line?

And then there are unintended consequences. We'll never know whether Oprah's early endorsement of Obama was instrumental in gathering necessary support from the African-American community or in gaining enough superdelegate support to cinch the nomination. What we can probably expect in the next election are endorsements from only the most devil-may-care celebrities willing to put their ratings or popularity on the line for a particular candidate. This kind of self-censorship is not necessarily a positive development.

Isn't it better to know the political viewpoints of a celebrity before becoming their biggest most devoted fan? I, for one, would rather know which way a celebrity leans, expressing support or displeasure with my pocketbook and letting the chips fall where they may.



Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Cannes It, Film Festival Judge Sean Penn

Judges for 2008 Cannes Film Festival opening pictured from left to right, Apichatpong Weerasethakul, Rachid Bouchareb, Natalie Portman, S, Jeanne Balibar, Sean Penn, and Alexandra Maria Lara - Photo courtesy JustJared
The Cannes Film Festival is in full bloom with overachieving Pandas, starlets clad in attractive summer wear, and loud mouth extraordinaire, actor Sean Penn. There he is on the red carpet for the premiere of opening night film, Blindness, along with a distinguished panel of fellow judges, including the luminous Natalie Portman.

Too bad she and Penn hijacked what should have been a breezy promotion for the film industry, unleashing a Bush bashing, Democratic presidential nominee thrashing, roll your eyes tongue lashing on a topic best left to smoke-filled Hollywood parties. Does Penn honestly believe the current political climate will decide which film walks away with top honors?

Yes, according to an editor at the daily Telegraph who interviewed the actor at length.
Penn said it was impossible to separate film from politics, and promised that the winning film would be a reflection of the current climate.

'One way or another, when we select the Palme d'Or winner, I think we are going to feel very confident that the film-maker who made the film is very aware of the times in which he or she lives.'
This from a man who endorsed dark horse Dennis Kucinich for president. Must be their symbiotic penchant for all things wacky. Penn unleashes tirades against Brad Pitt during movie shoots and Kucinich gives first hand accounts of extraterrestrial encounters.

According to JustJared's account of the event, Penn had choice words for the Dubya administration, essentially charging the President with war crimes.

When somebody operates without a brain and without a heart they kill hundreds of thousands of people throughout the world. It is a shame that we have to bastardize the word 'politics.'
Oh puh-leeze. The only one operating without a brain is Mr. Penn. You can't go around vilifying the President for a war approved and ratified by Congress, even if the purported justification was in fact botched intelligence. Especially not when one is an ambassador of some sorts abroad. This kind of nonsense emboldens enemies, fueling battles the majority of Americans would rather put to rest.

Apparently, the left-handed jab at our elected leader wasn't enough because Penn then unleashed his vitriol on likely Democratic presidential nominee, Barack Obama.

'I don't have a candidate I'm supporting and I'm certainly interested and excited by the hope that Barack Obama is inspiring,' he said, but went on to accuse him of a 'phenomenally inhuman and unconstitutional' voting record.

'I hope that he will understand, if he is the nominee, the degree of disillusionment that will happen if he doesn't become a greater man than he will ever be,' Penn said. 'This is the most important election, certainly in my lifetime, and maybe ever.'
A greater man than HE will ever be?? Was Penn referring to himself? Because honestly, no one will ever become a greater man than that same person will ever be.

As for the candidate's voting record, there is nothing phenomenally inhuman or unconstitutional about it. In fact, it's verbatim the same voting record of Hillary Clinton, save an absence here or there, but you don't hear Penn ragging on her.

The comment itself is inane and idiotic, not to mention a mother load to throw on the shoulders of the first credible African-American candidate for president. A nomination for Barack Obama would be historic, lending an air of credibility to Penn's statement that 2008 is the most important election in his lifetime and perhaps ever.

If elected, however, Barack Obama will serve just like all other prior presidents. With the hope and desire to make this nation strong and secure and to provide a comfortable existence for all of its citizens. We're not talking about a black messiah here, just someone who wants to make his mark in American history.

Although not endorsing any particular candidate, I love how Portman weighs in with more fluffer-nutter trivializing the political process.

[F]or the first time in a while we have to chose between who we like better instead of who we hate less.
Is this supposed to be inspiring? Because from where I sit there's a lot of people who don't particularly like any of the candidates. They're casting ballots for the one they fear less. Doesn't say a whole helluva lot for our political process.

But then again, neither does this lunacy at Cannes.

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