Cannes It, Film Festival Judge Sean Penn

The Cannes Film Festival is in full bloom with overachieving Pandas, starlets clad in attractive summer wear, and loud mouth extraordinaire, actor Sean Penn. There he is on the red carpet for the premiere of opening night film, Blindness, along with a distinguished panel of fellow judges, including the luminous Natalie Portman.

Too bad she and Penn hijacked what should have been a breezy promotion for the film industry, unleashing a Bush bashing, Democratic presidential nominee thrashing, roll your eyes tongue lashing on a topic best left to smoke-filled Hollywood parties. Does Penn honestly believe the current political climate will decide which film walks away with top honors?

Yes, according to an editor at the daily Telegraph who interviewed the actor at length.

Penn said it was impossible to separate film from politics, and promised that the winning film would be a reflection of the current climate.

'One way or another, when we select the Palme d'Or winner, I think we are going to feel very confident that the film-maker who made the film is very aware of the times in which he or she lives.'

This from a man who endorsed dark horse Dennis Kucinich for president. Must be their symbiotic penchant for all things wacky. Penn unleashes tirades against Brad Pitt during movie shoots and Kucinich gives first hand accounts of extraterrestrial encounters.

According to JustJared's account of the event, Penn had choice words for the Dubya administration, essentially charging the President with war crimes.

When somebody operates without a brain and without a heart they kill hundreds of thousands of people throughout the world. It is a shame that we have to bastardize the word 'politics.'

Oh puh-leeze. The only one operating without a brain is Mr. Penn. You can't go around vilifying the President for a war approved and ratified by Congress, even if the purported justification was in fact botched intelligence. Especially not when one is an ambassador of some sorts abroad. This kind of nonsense emboldens enemies, fueling battles the majority of Americans would rather put to rest.

Apparently, the left-handed jab at our elected leader wasn't enough because Penn then unleashed his vitriol on likely Democratic presidential nominee, Barack Obama.

'I don't have a candidate I'm supporting and I'm certainly interested and excited by the hope that Barack Obama is inspiring,' he said, but went on to accuse him of a 'phenomenally inhuman and unconstitutional' voting record.

'I hope that he will understand, if he is the nominee, the degree of disillusionment that will happen if he doesn't become a greater man than he will ever be,' Penn said. 'This is the most important election, certainly in my lifetime, and maybe ever.'

A greater man than HE will ever be?? Was Penn referring to himself? Because honestly, no one will ever become a greater man than that same person will ever be.

As for the candidate's voting record, there is nothing phenomenally inhuman or unconstitutional about it. In fact, it's verbatim the same voting record of Hillary Clinton, save an absence here or there, but you don't hear Penn ragging on her.

The comment itself is inane and idiotic, not to mention a mother load to throw on the shoulders of the first credible African-American candidate for president. A nomination for Barack Obama would be historic, lending an air of credibility to Penn's statement that 2008 is the most important election in his lifetime and perhaps ever.

If elected, however, Barack Obama will serve just like all other prior presidents. With the hope and desire to make this nation strong and secure and to provide a comfortable existence for all of its citizens. We're not talking about a black messiah here, just someone who wants to make his mark in American history.

Although not endorsing any particular candidate, I love how Portman weighs in with more fluffer-nutter trivializing the political process.

[F]or the first time in a while we have to chose between who we like better instead of who we hate less.

Is this supposed to be inspiring? Because from where I sit there's a lot of people who don't particularly like any of the candidates. They're casting ballots for the one they fear less. Doesn't say a whole helluva lot for our political process.

But then again, neither does this lunacy at Cannes.

[Source]

Sean Penn Hooks Up With Petra Nemcova

Aw shucks. We can't get the gossip scoop on anyone. Recently separated actor Sean Penn showed up with model Petra Nemcova at Elton John's post-Oscar bash. Yada yada. Moan Quivers reports Sir Elton's hair looks like tufted rooster head feathers. Love the charity ball, hate the hair. At least Sir Elton didn't cancel his annual fundraiser out of spite...unlike disgruntled actors/directors who were nowhere to be found on Oscar's red carpet.

Celebrities Served 12.31.07

Not wanting to step on the toes of a more prominent site reporting celebrity justice, the following lesser known shorts were gleaned over the past week from a variety of sources:


CRIMINAL MATTERS

Mischa Barton was released on $10,000 bail after being busted for DUI, possession of a controlled substance and marijuana, and driving with a suspended license. Police pulled her over for driving in two lanes of traffic and failing to signal.

Amy Winehouse wants to recant her confession to possession of marijuana. A Norwegian court has summoned the chanteuse to appear on February 29, 2008. Winehouse has seen her share of legal problems over the past year. After her jailed husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, failed a drug test, authorities banned the couple from having personal contact during prison visits. Winehouse was later arrested for interfering with a police investigation.

Thieves stole expensive shoes and a personalized designer robe from Posh Spice a.k.a. Victoria Beckham. The singer is on a reunion tour with her former rock band, The Spice Girls.

Sugababe Amelle Berrabah’s boyfriend, Freddie Fuller, was the victim of a bizarre Christmas Eve machete attack. Police have arrested a 28-year old man on suspicion of attempted murder.

Party promoter, Apollo Holmes, is wanted on aggravated assault charges after brutally beating personal fitness trainer, Darius Miller, outside a Peachtree Street nightclub. Miller remains hospitalized in a coma.


CIVIL ACTIONS

An ex-girlfriend is suing NYPD Blue star, Esai Morales, for transmitting herpes through forcible sex. Lawyers for Elizabeth Mazzocchi say two other women have come forward with similar claims.

Radio broadcasters are livid over a bill working its way through Congress. Traditionally able to play music without paying associated performance fees, the bill would place radio stations on a level playing ground with other music media providers.

The "truth" hurts. Chuck Norris is suing Penguin publishers and author, Ian Spector, for a book he claims unfairly exploits his famous name.

Five children of the late James Brown are challenging their lack of inheritance. Doubts were cast on the validity of the famed singer's last will and testament after earlier drafts indicated conflicting intention.

A devoted "Trekkie" fan is suing Christie’s auction house, claiming a prop auctioned for $6,000.00 was fake. Calls to CBS Paramount were not immediately returned.

A lesser known musician is accusing Baby Shambles rocker, Pete Doherty, of stealing an original song without affording proper credit. We imagine the suit is about money, not fame, although the two sometimes do go hand in hand.

In other disputes concerning failure to authorize, Indie rock groups have filed a class action lawsuit against R.J. Reynolds Tobacco, magazine legend Rolling Stone, and Wenner Media. The bands claim they were not consulted about an illustrated spread which deceptively included advertisements for Camel cigarettes. A number of bands also want public apologies.

AND LOOK WHO'S GETTING OR IS FINALLY DIVORCED,

Dita Von Teese and Marilyn Manson
Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen
David Faustino and Andrea Faustino
Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn


CELEBRITY POLITICS

Brian McNamee and Roger Clemens may come to heads over testimony cited in the Mitchell Report. The controversial Report doesn’t stop with athlete outings. Entertainer, Carrot Top, was also cited for unusual body beefing.

Superstar, Will Smith, is angry over the backlash against his misinterpreted Hitler sympathies. For the record, Smith believes "Adolph Hitler was a vile, heinous vicious killer responsible for one of the greatest acts of evil committed on this planet."

Before airing The Pogues' "Fairytale of New York," Britain’s Radio One tried to dub the words "slut" and "faggot" from the 20-year old festive hit. After much public criticism, the song aired as intended.

In a bizarre ban indicative of political strong-arming, The Motion Picture Association of America rejected a movie poster design for Taxie to the Dark Side, a documentary exposing the U.S. government’s use of torture. The MPAA claimed the poster was unacceptable for the eyes of young children.

Poor Wesley Snipes has resorted to playing the race card in his tax evasion dispute. Listen, crybaby, we like your films, but you’ll never get ahead in this world if you keep blaming everything on the color of your skin. The truth will win out in court, and if not, cough up the money and move on.

The White Rose Coalition, a group of anti-war activists who count Cindy Sheehan among its members, is planning a pre-parade demonstration in Pasadena tomorrow. The planned site of the 119th Annual Tournament of Roses Parade is calling for added police protection.

British Airways suffered some political backlash after allowing the minor son of celebrity chef, Gordon Ramsey, to travel on an invalid passport. Other passengers/customers are crying a preferential treatment foul.

One of our favorite actresses, Julia Roberts, spent $30million transforming her personal residence into a lean green eco-efficient machine. Julia became more environmentally conscious after having children. If you've got it, at least flaunt it on something worthwhile.

The Pope denounced Nicole Kidman’s new movie The Golden Compass. Maybe that accounts for the film's tepid earnings at the box office. When The Vatican speaks, the faithful listen.

Private corporation, Clear Channel Outdoor, is teaming with the FBI to display digital "wanted posters." The company operates over 167,000 advertising displays in the U.S.

In crossover news, supermodel, Naomi Campbell, is doing her part to improve humanitarian conditions in Cuba. The British babe turned political reporter plans to interview Fidel Castro during her tour.


CELEBRITY CAUSES

Ever hear of reverse charity? Managers of popular pop duo, The Veronicas, refused to refund a $17,500 booking deposit for a cancelled benefit concert. The proceeds were meant for the family of a boy suffering from brain cancer.

Spencer Pratt of The Hills fame, and actresses Jennifer Love Hewitt and Melissa Joan Hart served Christmas dinner to the homeless at the L.A. Mission.

Singer, Morrissey, donated 20,000 pounds to help restore a youth club immortalized in a song by his former band, The Smiths.

Steven Spielberg and Henry Winkler enlisted the assistance of top talent for the 2007 Home for the Holidays charitable event. This year’s event raised awareness of foster care.

Country legend, Willie Nelson, donated $40K to the town of Vancouver, Washington. The singer wanted to assist special projects in the "town who knew him before he was famous."

Barron Hilton, grandfather of socialite, Paris Hilton, has decided to place the bulk of the Hilton Hotel fortune in a charitable trust benefitting The Conrad N. Hilton Foundation. The foundation supports projects providing clean water in Africa, education for blind children, and housing for the mentally ill.

R&B star, John Legend, knows how to give back. The singer returned home to perform in a "Coming Home Christmas Benefit Concert." Proceeds will fund The Jason Collier Memorial Scholarship Fund.

Corporate retailer, H&M, is teaming up with pop singer, Rihanna and other celebrities to raise money for HIV/Aids.

Wishing all of our readers a very Happy and Healthy New Year!

Celebrity Presidential Endorsements on Parade

Less than three weeks from the first primary election of 2008, celebrity presidential endorsements are hitting the big time. Oprah made her big splash for Obama last week after Streisand, Bill, Mrs. Rodham, and Chelsea went to bat for Hillary.

Before that, of course, we had Clooney, Halle, and Matty The Sexiest Man Alive for Barack. And before any of them hit the scene, way back over the summer, there was Taryn Southern in "Hot4Hill" and that spicy little Obama girl who got plastered all over TV. Suddenly, there's Chuck for "Huck," and Lieberman for McCain, not to mention Fred Thompson who is a celebrity in his own right. The other candidates have some Hollywood appeal as well, but apparently not enough to make the national news media stand up and applaud.

How can anyone help but notice all the Tinseltown draped over Election 2008? The parade of celebrity endorsements keeps going and going and going ad naseum like the Energizer Bunny in a bad Twilight Zone episode. Rod Serling could not have conceived of anything more terrifying, I mean, the thought of all these celebrities somehow influencing voters to cast their ballot for the celebrity's choice of presidential candidate is positively horrifying. Barbra Streisand is a wonderful entertainer with a voice like buttah, but honestly, what does she know about running America?

There's no sense in complaining. There are too many Americans who are too busy to pay attention to the presidential election and/or don't have the brains or interest to care. These are the same people who will vote for a candidate because Oprah tells them to, or because they want a minority in office, or because they like the way a candidate plays a guitar on stage. Forget about foreign policy, or ability to lead, or domestic policy....none of that actually matters.

It's gotten so bad that if a candidate hasn't gotten a celebrity endorsement of some sort by now, they might as well throw in the towel. Otherwise qualified candidates like Dodd, Biden, Tancredo, and Hunter (if you just said "WHO?" out loud, you really have not been following the election and don't deserve to cast a vote in the primary) haven't got a prayer. These men lack the necessary star power, will not pass their screen tests, and mark my words, will start dropping like flies after February 5th.

This is the state of politics in 2008. A hundred years from now, someone will look back on this moment and designate 2008 as the year politics became undone. Slowly, slowly, ever since Reagan became president, America has been drifting into a Hollywood mindset, equating the ability to lead a nation with the ability to open a movie, electing presidents the same way they become fans of movie stars.

Quiet! That twilight zoney music is playing faintly in the background. Oh, no, wait, it's the theme song from Back to the Future.

Might as well have some fun with this. Like a celebrity parade before it passes by, everyone on the other side of the baricades should stop and watch the action. Yeah, that's the ticket. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Think of each video as an overblown Macy's Day Thanksgiving Parade float.

Just be careful to avoid getting subliminally slimed.