Obamas Wow at Cherry Blossom Festival Parade

President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle were riding high during yesterday's Cherry Blossom Festival parade.

Actually, that's their true to life doppelgangers riding aboard Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum float. The museum first unveiled the President's wax likeness in February 2008. The First Lady's statue followed this past week, greeting the public on April 7th.

While the adoring crowd cheered the wax figures, President Obama was busy greeting surprised tourists at the Lincoln Memorial.

No word on the First Lady's true whereabouts. My guess is she took the girls on the planned Williamsburg getaway. Why waste a perfectly good luxury suite reservation?


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Politics: On Obama's budget battle, advice from Machiavelli.

Nicolo Machiavelli, the original "budget hawk," author of The Prince.

Here's some quick advice for President Barack Obama, from someone who knows  politics--

For Obama, the new year 2011 promises a specular early fight with newly-swaggering Republicans on Capitol Hill over US government spending.  As soon as early March (when the current $14.3 trillion debt ceiling and government-funding Continuing Resolution both expire), Obama will face ultimatums from Republicans demanding massive, perhaps draconian budget cuts, backed by threats to shut down the government, default on US bonds, or worse.   If Obama gives in, liberals will hate him.  If he refuses, the country could suffer.

What should a President do -- or a Prince -- faced by such blackmail?

This issue of government spending is old -- very, very, very old.  Two thousand years ago, Emperors in ancient Rome curried favor with the mob by serving them bread and a circus.  Government-funded "social safety nets" are a 20th century invention, but even in 15th century Italy, local kings and warlords agonized over whether to shower their people with bribes and gifts to make themselves popular, or to pinch their pennies for a rainy day.

Nicolo Machiavelli, the great political maven, spoke directly to this point in his classic portrait of 1520s Italian hard-ball politics, The Prince.  To Machiavelli, to answer was clear: pinch your pennies:  

• "[A] prince thus inclined [to spend lavishly on his subjects] will consume in such acts all his property, and will be compelled in the end, if he wish to maintain the name of liberal, to unduly weigh down his people, and tax them, and do everything he can to get money."

Sound familiar?  Generous spending, leading to expectations for more spending, leading to high taxes, leading to resentments all around?

• "This will soon make him odious to his subjects, and becoming poor he will be little valued by any one."

Better to be a miser.

To Machiavelli, rather than spend his Kingdom into poverty, a Prince was better off to be a miser.  Not only was it cheaper, but it will actually made him more popular:

• "[A] prince... if he is wise he ought not to fear the reputation of being mean.  In this end, people would respect him....   [F]or in time he will come to be more considered than if liberal, seeing that with his economy his revenues are enough, that he can defend himself against all attacks, and is able to engage in enterprises without burdening his people.... [H]e exercises liberality towards all from whom he does not take, who are numberless, and meanness towards those to whom he does not give, who are few."

And today? 

Barack Obama's 21st century post-industrial America is a far cry from Machiavelli's pre-Enlightenment cloak-and-dagger Renaissance Italy.  Governments today no longer stand aside and let people sink in bad economies.  Still, the point remains:  What would Machiavelli do, confronted by Republicans today demanding budget cuts?  What would he advise Obama?

Certainly, he'd tell Obama to never show weakness -- always dangerous then and now.  But I think he'd also tell him this:  Seize the budget-cutting mantle for yourself.  Steal the Republican's issue, put your own stamp on addressing out-of-control spending, and take credit.  Be more like the miserly Prince (or at least a 21st century progressive version thereof), popular and rich at the same time.

Click here to see Machiavelli's full chapter on the issue.  It's a good quick read.  Enjoy.

Politics: Congress' game of Budget Chicken. Does it matter? Yes!!!



Bill Clinton and Newt Gingrich before closing the government in 1995.

 
Remember how they played "chicken" back in the 1950s?  Two guys in hot-rod cars drove toward a cliff.  The first to jump out was Chicken.  His friends all laughed.  Click here to see how it played out in the classic film Rebel Without a Cause.   Notice how the winner got to celebrate by being killed while his friends drank beer.  



James Dean with Corey Allen before
Allen drives off a cliff in Rebel Without a Cause.


What a perfect game for politicians: pointless, self-destructive, with big headlines.  Not surprisingly, playing chicken with American finance has become a favorite sport of the US Congress.  And  2011 seems destined for a spectacular crash, with a choice of two on-rushing cliffs to drive off:

• First, on March 4, the Continuing Resolution (CR), the law that funds most of the US federal government, expires.  This is no accident: Republicans last December insisted on the short fuse. Unless the CR is extended or replaced, the government must shut down that day.  

• Second, in late March, the Debt Ceiling, which limits the total amount of money the Federal Treasury can borrow -- set last year at $14.3 trillion -- is scheduled to be reached.  Since Treasury borrowing is needed not just to fund the government but also to replace expiring bonds and pay interest, failure to raise the ceiling could cause the US government to default on its bills.  

Government shut downs?  Defaults?   The last time Washington shut down was in 1995 when then-House Speaker Newt Ginrgich insisted then-President Bill Clinton accept a list of spending cuts, which Clinton refused.   For a full week as the polticians jockeyed, offices closed, benefit checks froze, and national parks and monuments went dark.  The public cringed at the whole futile exercise.  As for defaulting on bonds, the US government has never done this in its entire 213-year history (with a partial exception in 1933 when FDR eliminated the "gold clause" in US obligations, allowing debt paid in paper currency.( Click here to see Alex Pollock's take on this from the American Spectator. )

US "full faith and credit" -- its commitment to pay bills -- is enshrined in the Constitution as the basis of our national ability to borrow.  It is as close to sacrosanct as anything in finance, and the only thing that separates us from Greece and Ireland in the eyes of lenders.

So why are Congressmen and Senators -- particularly Republicans of the Tea Party stripe -- threatening once again today to play chicken with America's global fiscal standing by refusing the raise the debt ceiling or extend the CR?   Is it really just simple, self-serving, annoying politics-as-usual?   

Take a look at this chart:  It shows the US national debt since 1940, in constant dollars.  Notice the explosions starting in 1980 (Reagan tax cuts), in 2002 (Bush tax cuts plus two wars), and the near-vertical climb since 2007 (Wall Street financial melt-down).  Today, US debt is nearly 80 percent of our gross domestic product.   Almost nodoby disagrees that, unless reversed soon and sharply, this trend threatens to swamp our economy, our national security, and our future. 

For years,  politicians have gabbed about cutting the debt, but almost never do anything about it.  Just last month, President Obama and Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell negotiated a tax cut deal increasing the debt by a projected $900 billion in two years, while solemnly promising to "get serious" about the debt "next year."  The fact is, nothing can be done to save money in Washington -- not spending cuts, not taxes increases -- unless some politician on one side or the other agrees to surrender. 

He or she has to agree to jump out of his car and be called "chicken."  And unless the car is careening toward a cliff, nobody will jump.

This is why, as much as I hate to admit it, the Tea Party crowd has a point.  IF the goal really is to force Washington to do something serious about the debt, then playing chicken with the CR and Debt Ceiling is a bold way to do it.  Presumably, the Republicans will refuse to relent until Obama agrees to big spending cuts. And then, their egos protected, a few of them will jump from the car and let everyone avoid the crash.

If Obama refuses, the government will close or default on its bonds.  Or, if Obama reciprocates, using the Tea Party gambit as an excuse to put forward his own set of perhaps-more-reasonable cuts and modest revenue enhancers, all sides could walk away with a victory.

This is a dangerous game.  Remember James Dean in Rebel Without A Cause.  His rival, Corey Allen, got his sleeve jammed in the car door and, as a result, when he needed to jump, he couldn't.  Off the cliff he flew.  So too could Obama or the Tea Party if they play this wrong, and the big loser will be the US economy.  Knowing when to jump, when to refuse, and how to open the door, are key.

Have we really come to this?  I've given up on trying to find the adults.  Let's just hope the children don't burn down the house.

Is this Obama's "Read my Lips" Moment?

Way back in the last Century, in 1988, 22 years ago (Gasp! Am I really that old?), George H. W. Bush convinced the voters of America to elect him President, defeating Democrat Michael Dukakis in an electoral college landslide, 426 to 111. Central to Bush's campaign, however, was a single memorable promise that made him a hero with conservatives coast to coast: that he would never, ever, ever raise taxes.

Bush immortalized this pledge in his acceptance speech to that year's Republican Convention in New Orleans, uttering his most-ever-cited statement, as follows: "Read my lips! No New taxes!" -- taken from the Clint Eastwood tough-guy movie "Dirty Harry." Here's the video in case you've never seen it. It's a beauty: Click here.

The irony, of course, is that in 1990, just two years later, Bush broke that pledge. Facing soaring deficits and a sinking economy, Bush decided to compromise with Democrats and sign a deal cutting Washington government deficits by $500 billion over ten years. Though it contained many spending cuts painful to Democrats, it also raised many key taxes, including the Federal gas tax.


The photo above shows Bush as President siging the 1990 deal. Not much of a smile on his face.

Not surprisingly, conservatives erupted in anger. "Read my lips. I Lied!" headlined the New York Post. The Cato Institute called it the "Crime of the Century," and the Heritage Foundation quickly tagged it a failure. Most Republicans in Congress voted no (or Hell No!!) on the package; Bush had to rely on Democratic votes. Then, in 1992, when Bush stood for re-election, the pigeons came home to roost. Despite his widely-admired leadership during the 1991 Persian Gulf War that sent his popularity soaring to near 90 %, Bush's budget deal and a worsening recession soured his prospects. Television pundit and former Nixon speech-writer Pat Buchanan managed to embarrass him by winning 40% of the vote in the New Hampshire Primary, running largely on Bush's violation of his tax pledge. In the general election, Democrat Bill Clinton cited it too, and won a comfortable victory in a three-way contest that also included businessman Ross Perot. (click here for 1992 election results.) By the next January, George H.W. Bush was out of a job.

All of which brings us to today's president, Barack Obama, and his decision this week to join in a deal with Congressional Republicans to extend the large, due-to-expire, Bush Junior-era tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans. The deal contains other things, but none more important. As with Bush Senior in 1990, this too violated a position central to Obama's candidacy and presidency. Obama has made his opposition to continuing the Bush tax cuts for Americans with incomes above $250,000 per year a matter of basic principle, one widely shared with his supporters. Already, many Democrats are calling it a betrayal or worse.

Will this be the beginning of the end of the Obama presidency, just as the 1990 budget deal marked the beginning of the end for George H.W. Bush? Obviously, it is way too soon to say. Obama still has time to win back his critics, and perhaps even win on the tax-cuts-for-the-wealthy issue itself when it comes up again in two years. Still, the parallel is hard to ignore. Stay tuned. This will be very good drama.

Stop the gag order. Lobbyists are protected by the First Amendment.

Free speech would be easy if it only applied to popular people saying popular things. But that's not the case. Our First Amendment protections are most urgent and fragile when they apply to the unpopular, the dissident, and the public villain of the day. Which brings me to lobbyists.

It's easy to dislike lobbyists. (Full disclosure: I happen to be one. Here's a link to my public registration.) Politicians vilify them, blame them for lots that is wrong in Washington, many times justified. Crooks like Jack Abramoff and the occasional bribe-taking Congressman smear the profession. The public hates inside influence-peddling, sees the potential for abuse, and insists on limits. So, as a lobbyist, I am happy to be regulated, and I'm ready to comply with all the disclosures of clients, contacts, and interests, and don't even mind the political pokes.

But the latest missive from President Obama's White House, a Memorandum dated March 20, 2009 on "Ensuring Responsible Spending of Recovery Act Funds," is a literal gag order to be carried out by Federal agency officials. It truly crosses the line.

Let's be clear. Lobbying is not a social evil. It is a public good protected by the First Amendment -- both as "freedom of speech" and as the right of the people "to petition the Government for a redress of grievances." By recent count, there are over 50,000 registered lobbyists representing a dizzying range of causes and interests, from good government and safe drugs to individual corporations and local governments. Bad actors aside (see Joseph Keppler's classic view, "The Bosses of the Senate," above), they keep Congress informed, give groups around the country an effective voice, and engage in public discourse essential to decision-making in a democracy.

In modern Washington, a competent lobbyist is as essential to navigating the complex maze of bureaucracy and politics as a competent lawyer or accountant is to any individual trying to run a business, buy a home, or file their taxes. Denying people access to a lobbyist amounts to stripping them of their voice.

And that's precisely what the new Obama memo does. In so many words, it requres agency officials, in any meeting or phone call regarding the Stimulus Package, to tell any lobbyist in the room or on the call to get out, hang up, or shut up -- "the lobbyist may not attend [the meeting] or participate in the telephonic or in-person contact, but may submit a communication in writing." (See Section 3(b))


Message to the public? When it comes to seeking Stimulus Package funds, you are on your own. You are denied representation. You have no right to have someone speak for you. The impact? Big corporations, with high-paid, experienced advocates on their payrolls as officers or in-house staff (not subject to any rules on lobbying), will easily roll over any small business that gets in the way.


This is overkill, taking a popular concept and extending it to a destructive conclusion. I hope the Obama White House will re-think it. To my mind, even speaking as a lobbyist, change is still good.

Some Barack Obama Firsts I Don't Want to Know

Barack Obama's historic win of the presidency was more than just an iconic moment in American history. It was a vindication of our core belief that anything is possible in the home of the free and the brave.

When wife Michelle, and daughters Malia and Sasha stand on the Capitol steps this January 20, 2009, beaming with pride as the first American of African descent -- President-Elect Barack Obama, their husband and father -- places his hand on the bible, swearing an oath of allegiance to the United States Constitution to uphold fundamental principles of fairness and liberty, the whole world will take stock of America's historic leap forward as we, the people, at last turn the page on one of the hardest fought victories in recent memory.

Still, I am humbly reminded that with every silver lining comes a cloud. You see, up until the precise moment of Obama's historic swearing in ceremony (and perhaps for a wee bit after), the entire world must endure a heavy burden indeed.

An unprecedented barrage of firsts.

The first time a major American newspaper endorses the Democratic Party's nominee for president.

The first time a man with African roots wins a presidential election.

The first time that man, Barack Obama, takes a top secret security level tour of the White House.

The first time the transition of a U.S. presidency is transparently documented on the Internet.

The first press conference of Barack Obama.



And on and on she goes. I'm not sure how much more I can stand. Come on, admit it. You're getting sick of it too.

I imagine there are will be many firsts for the new President-Elect, his family and for lack of a better word, entourage, but do we have to hear about every single one in mind-numbing detail? Here are a few I'd rather not:

-The first time Oprah Winfrey flies her entire studio audience to Washington, D.C. for the inauguration.

-The first time any type of stereotypical ethnic food is served on the White House menu.

-The first time a trash can basketball hoop is installed in the Oval Office.

-The first time Will.i.am and Obama Girl are invited to an official State Dinner.

-The first time an African-American White House staff member is mistaken for a member of the President's family.

-The first time President Obama and the First Lady rumple the sheets in the Lincoln Bedroom.

Okay. Okay. No flames. I know I went overboard on those last ones. Let's hope all the news outlets exercise greater restraint.

Republicans Impalin'

I am not one to gloat.

But can you imagine what would have happened if the American people were duped into sending McCain-Palin to the White House?

Texas McCain Campaign Worker Tries to Start Riots

"B" stands for "bubblehead of the third kind."

Okay, people, the riots are postponed until voting day. It was all an ugly hoax.

Now go back to your Family Guy reruns.

Obama Buck Supporters Drink Racist Kool-Aid to Survive

"Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Finally, the Chaffey Community Republican Women's newsletter published by apparent racist Diane Fedele confirms what Obama supporters have known all along.

Inherently bigoted Americans don't support Barack Obama not because they consider him one of the most liberal representatives in the U.S. Senate, not because they harbor political views diametrically opposed to his, not because his associates are of questionable character, not because of unsubstantiated accusations of alleged improprieties, not because of his supposed lack of experience, and not even because they incorrectly believe him to be a Muslim.

No, Diane Fedele and her ilk don't want Senator Obama to become president because of the color of his skin. Pure and simple, they don't want darkies running the White House, especially not that scary wife of his, Michelle. No angry black women at our State dinners, eh Ms. Fedele?

And don't try pulling the wool over anybody's eyes with some lame excuse about random food items. Your fellow GOP-minded Americans have already condemned your pathetic illustrations, depictions that are nothing more than negative racial stereotyping, the kind decent men and women have been fighting to eradicate for decades.

Despite Fedele's reported apology, vocal Obama supporters have loosely organized an outrage campaign. Last time I looked, they were calling for bombardment of Fedele's email and any other means of communication. I'm not an avid supporter of censorship, but this is one time I'd like to see the haters go down.

We may be in the midst of the most important election in our collective lifetimes and these nimrods want to use race as their guide? Shame on Diane Fedele, the Chaffey Community Republican Women's group, and all other haters who base important decisions on such nonsense.

You people are the warts on the bottom feeders sucking pond scum to survive.

Congressman Ron Paul Refuses to Endorse John McCain

And he's not the only Republican bucking the tide.

Congressman Paul says he cannot endorse a candidate with whom he fundamentally disagrees on all the major issues. Federal reserve spending, taxes, education, foreign policy, and especially Iran. An implicit signal to his supporters to back Obama-Biden. You'd think Texans would have gotten the message by now.

Long time Conservative and former editor of The National Review Wick Allison also admits that McCain is not the right man for the job. He says Conservatives are "cemented to political programs when they clearly don't work" and view the war against terror as a theological expansion of America's mission to defeat evil. He further cautions against a philosophy that would make "George Washington cough out his wooden teeth."

We've come a long way from being isolationists, but unilaterally becoming the "Avenger of Evil" under a mistaken notion of religious duty is as bad as the terrorists.

I used to believe kill or be killed was the only way to defeat our enemies, but fall of the Roman Empire provides a valuable lesson in the possible repetition of history. Perhaps failed diplomacy wasn't responsible for the war as much as the people who delivered the message. Obama-Biden have better foreign policy expertise between them. In this critical area, the contest isn't close.

John McCain is so out of touch with mainstream America, he can't keep his answers straight any more, like he has to choose between what he's been coached to say and what he really believes. In his defense, I can't blame him for doing what needs to be done to claim victory. McCain had to energy his Conservative base or risk losing them at the polls. But at what price comes the pacification of such a small portion of the electorate?

Conservative values are basically good and decent. I have no qualms with the majority of them, believing many traditional values are worth following. I only draw the line when Conservatives insist on imposing those values on non-subscribers. It isn't the role of government to keep library books off the shelves, decide what a woman should do with her body, or institute tax policies that favor 2% of the population holding 90% of the wealth.

The system is broken. John McCain is essentially promising more of the same. Don't get me started on earmarks for special interest groups.

Barack Obama recently wowed a sizable crowd with his comments about the meltdown on Wall Street. The video is long, but the first five minutes pack a wallop.

Obama's are the sentiments most capable of turning this country back in the right direction. "The dream of the American people must not be endangered any more!"

Time is running out to register to vote. If you haven't done so already, get off your patootey now! This election is a pivotal time in American history. Whichever candidate you support, stand up and be counted.

Where is Hillary Clinton When Candidate Refers to Lipstick on a Pig?

In the return to "silly season" politics, the McCain Campaign is blasting Barack Obama for supposedly sexist remarks made at a campaign stop in Lebanon, Virginia.

Let's just list this for a second. John McCain says he's about change, too. Except -- and so I guess his whole angle is, 'Watch out, George Bush, except for economic policy, health-care policy, tax policy, education policy, foreign policy, and Karl Rove-style politics. We're really gonna shake things up in Washington.' That's not change. That's just calling some -- the same thing, something different. But you know, you can -- you know, you can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig.

Obama then praised both McCain's "compelling story" and Palin's "interesting story," saying his "hat goes off" to anyone who's looking after five kids -- I've got two and they tire Michelle and me out -- that's why John McCain's campaign manager said this campaign isn't going to be about issues, this campaign is going to be about personalities."

Jane Swift, Massachusetts chairwoman of McCain's "Palin Truth Squad," said Obama's lipstick remark was an obvious reference to Mrs Palin's much-quoted line that the only difference between hockey moms and pitbull dogs is lipstick.

"It seemed to me a gendered comment. There's only one woman in the race," she said.

Baltimore radio station WCBM immediately jumped on the bandwagon, devoting almost all of this morning's air time to outraged indignation and terse demands for an immediate apology.

Local talk show host Tom Marr not only relentlessly pounded Obama for his lipstick remarks, but also clobbered him on his "You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change -- it's still gonna stink after 8 years" remark, claiming the expression was a reference to 72-year old John McCain. One clearly misguided woman called the program to add how Obama's lipstick remark proved he is a Muslim because "all Muslims refer to their women as pigs."

Obama Campaign senior advisor Anita Dunn swiftly responded to the ridiculous controversy in a prepared statement,

A pathetic attempt to play the gender card about the use of a common analogy - the same analogy that Senator McCain himself used about Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton's health care plan just last year. This phony lecture on gender sensitivity is the height of cynicism and lays bare the increasingly dishonorable campaign John McCain has chosen to run.

"The expression is timeless and it has always meant that though you may dress something up, it doesn’t change what that something is," explained Robert Gibbs, chief Obama Campaign spokesman.

Indeed, the expression is so common that McCain's former press secretary, Torie Clark, used it for a book title and McCain himself used the expression last October when offering his opinion about Hillary Clinton's health care plan (thank you, Jake Tapper).

Obama recently issued his own response to the unnecessary distraction. He has nothing to be sorry about. In a full-blown effort to counteract media bias, the McCain Campaign has gone overboard, jumped the shark to a whole new level of underhanded politics. Talk about vicious attacks. McCain supporters are having a field day with the misrepresentation of Obama's remarks.

The American people want to hear about issues, the candidates' political platforms, and answers to hard hitting questions. Cloyingly desperate attempts to revisit political silly season only demonstrates how little McCain/Palin have to say.

Barack Obama Has Chosen A Running Mate

The skinny guy with big ears has picked a running mate. Only he and a very exclusive group of "need-to-knows" possess the privately held extremely secure top secret information.

Dare I hint that perhaps moi has the inside track? Does "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you" ring any cliches?

Wouldn't you like to know?

As people hanging their hats on McCain's experience, Republicans sticking with the party no matter what, and pinch hitters of every other allegiance dance with glee over the latest poll results, Senator Barack Obama is quietly building a media storm. The swirl has become overwhelming. Like a gaggle of hungry paparazzi, hordes of reporters tail not only Obama's every move, but every move of suspected running mates. It's hard not to get caught up in the frenzy.

Imagine the unfolding scenario.

In a smoke-filled room at Presumptive Democrat Nominee Headquarters behind closed doors, a high level casting call has been made. That Campaign Obama was able to conduct the selection process without anyone getting wind of it is an amazing feat in and of itself.

"Send in the one with the estrogen, we need a woman on the ticket!"

"Nah. Won't command enough respect. Talked too much about out of body experiences. Next!"

"Liking the one with thirty-five years of Congressional experience. He's our man. Definitely! Has to be him. What? He lost brownie points during his last photo shoot with our star? Lacks chemistry? Next!"

Virginia Governor Tim Kaine is certainly playing his cards close to the vest. When asked whether he would be traveling to Springfield, Illinois for Obama's official announcement of a running mate, Kaine responded that he and his family would be traveling to Denver for the Democrat National Convention.

But when asked whether his flight might have a layover in middle America, Kaine just smiled and let the cameras flash away.

The surge is working. At a roasted peanut store in Emporia, Virginia, Obama running mate buzz is working over the MSM like a viral vid. People are scrambling to join the short list of those who will learn Obama's choice by text message prior to the Springfield announcement.

How much prior? The campaign isn't saying. But the ploy is marketing genius. Guaranteed, it's all anyone in the media will talk about until the text message is leaked. Exactly what the campaign is counting upon.

Bravo!

For the record, no one is stalking moi. But maybe they should be. I'm not at liberty to explain why. But in less than twenty-four hours, it won't matter.

Then we can all get back to the business of electing a president.


Update: Congratulations, Senator Joe Biden of Delaware. Obama couldn't have picked a stronger party candidate.

Mike Myers Schwings John McCain Fan Club Advertisement

Here we go again. Don't those McCain staffers know when to quit? I mean, is "Fan Club," their latest attack against Barack Obama for real? It looks like a computer science project spliced together by a 10-year old.

Now all we need is a viral video response from Wayne and Garth, aka Mike Myers and Dana Carvey, declaring their joint candidacy from a roach infested basement in Aurora, Illinois. Didn't those two perform a similarly inspired sketch at this year's MTV Movie Awards?

Wait a minute. I think I'm gonna hurl.

Okay, I'll take the bait, although a remake of campaign McCain's homepage looks suspiciously like the gateway to Barack Obama's fan club. Hey, I'm ready to sign on for dreamy eyes. But wait. Isn't this McCain's campaign website?

I'm soooooo confused!

Ignoring the possibility of a set-up, as in "I think we're not in Kansas any more," the latest stink between campaign McCain and SNL royalty is so far over the top we may all be getting punk'd.

Ashton Kutcher, is that you?

Maybe not. In case you haven't already put two and two together, campaign McCain "is not worthy," having once again stepped over the line of ethical behavior by using protected intellectual property without first securing permission from the rightful owners.

At least Mike Myers had the stones to scream copyright infringement, although fat lot of good it did with the video still parked on YouTube. So the offending final minutes won't appear on television. Big deal. How many donors will receive emails with the password for private viewing? Isn't that the same as Camp McCain plowing full speed ahead?

Michael Goldfarb, staffer of The McCain Report, laments cutting the Wayne's World bit off the official ad, casting some sort of vast left wing Hollywood conspiracy theory or possible plot of another Star Wars sequel as culprit.

Goldfarb is so far off the mark, I'm ready to blow chunks.

Just who does the Senator from Arizona think he is using celebrity copyrights and trademarked material like they're lazily floating about in the public domain, ripe for the pickings of any Washington insider with an itchy lasso?

Self-absorbed maverick? More like bubble-headed lamebrain.

Typecasting McCain and cronies desperately want to pin on Obama.

[Source]

Barack Obama Embraces British Soul Singer Joss Stone

Joss Stone with music producer Raphael Saadiq

Joss Stone holding what appears to be an illegal substance


Oh no, tell me it isn't so.

The Sun reports presidential candidate Barack Obama personally recruited British soul singer Joss Stone to write and record his campaign theme because he likes the way she appeals to both blacks and whites.

Are Obama's campaign advisers on vacation for the summer? Do any of them care about the moral character of people associated with the presumptive Democratic nominee's campaign?

[Source]

The George Clooney Curse, Lohan Christian Values, and Other Celebolitic Shorts

This site isn't the only one mixing up politics and celebrities. In today's "Bastard Child," a sampling of mutant celebolitic spawn from around the country.

Does dating George Clooney cause a curse on future hapiness? Yes, according to Britain's Next Top Model judge Lisa Snowden. "It's not something I planned but I just don't get asked out any more. Men seem to look at me and think, 'She went out with George Clooney, what chance have I got?'" The 36-year old model also says her five year on-again-off-again relationship with Clooney hurt her career.

Australian Idol winner Kate DeAraugo won't be hawking diet products on behalf of weight loss conglomerate Jenny Craig. Citing "personal health issues," the break-out star is otherwise mum about the reason for the split.

Actor Richard Dreyfus wants his money back. In a lawsuit filed last Friday against his father and uncle, Dreyfus claims damages of $870,000.

Michael Lohan says his Christian faith would prevent him from giving away famous daughter Lindsay in a gay wedding ceremony. When discussing Lindsay's public love affair with DJ Samantha Ronson, Lohan insists he wants his daughter "to be happy." Guess that Christian faith didn't get in the way of puportedly fathering Lindsay's illegitimate half-sister Ashley.

The "Lonely Loony" aka the "Lusty Lord of the Manor of Warleigh" David Piper, who once advertised for a Lady of the Manor and attracted applications from all around the world, is selling "his whole life" on eBay and hasn't ruled out the possibility of throwing himself into the bargain.

I pity the fool who thinks Mr. T is homophobic. Nevertheless, T pelted a wiggling yellow clad speed walker with candy bars, screaming "You are a disgrace to the man race. It's time to run like a real man" and "Get some nuts!" in a UK Snickers commercial. The ad was pulled after gay rights groups complained.

A dispute over a 1988 film of the late Rodney Dangerfield has been settled. Dangerfield's daughter, Melanie Roy-Friedman, allowed Comedy Central to air the master copy of her father's act without permission from stepmother Joan. Under the terms of settlement all copyrights to Dangerfield's act are held by his widow, Joan Dangerfield.

The upcoming Democratic National Convention promises a roster of stars reading like a Hollywood premiere. Big name celebrities are expected to attend parties hosted by AT&T, MTV, and Rock The Vote. Kanye West, Wyclef Jean, the rap/rock fusion band N.E.R.D., Ben Affleck, Scarlett Johansson, Warren Beatty, Annette Bening, Forrest Whitaker, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Cheryl Hines, and Ed Norton Jr. are just a few of the A-Listers convention spokesman Chris Lopez will neither confirm nor deny are on the guest list.

Can't decide who to vote for in the upcoming presidential election? Why bother with political platforms when pop culture icons might influence the vote? John McCain favors Batman, ABBA, Roy Orbison, Linda Ronstadt, Usher, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld, Dexter, Indian Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and Dennis Hasbert in 24. Barack Obama favors Batman, Spiderman, Frank Sinatra, Bob Dylan, Sheryl Crow, John Coltrane, M*A*S*H, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Shrek the Third, and Jeff Bridges in The Contender.

Harper's Bazaar Pictures Obama White House

America's Next Top Model Creator and Host Tyra Banks has designs on the White House. Banks channels her inner Michelle Obama for Harper's Bazaar's latest cover issue.

According to this report, Banks has put herself in Obama's shoes by contemplating a presidential hairdo and lauding Obama as "one hot momma."

"I think she actually could see herself in the White House," says a friend. "No, not as president, but first lady? She’d love nothing more."

This photo shoot may anger people. Bad enough Obama used an uncanny likeness of the presidential seal on the campaign trail, but now this. Seeing models portray the Obamas in the Oval Office may be more than some people can handle.

[Source]

Civil Rights Record Haunts John McCain

There's been a lot of verbal sparring between presumptive nominees Senators Barack Obama and John McCain. Disingenuous assurances to run a positive campaign. Race card baiting. Inaccurate summation of campaign stumping. The list goes on.

Socialite hotel goddess Kathy Hilton jumped into the fray, blasting McCain for comparing Obama to her daughter Paris and criticizing the controversial campaign ad as "a complete waste of the country's time and attention at the very moment when millions of people are losing their homes and their jobs."

At first glance, one might think Hilton slammed McCain for making precious Paris look like a meaningless ditz. And you'd be right.

But there's more to this sizzle than meets the eye. Ticking off influential campaign supporters doesn't speak well for McCain's decision making capabilities. After all, he's John McCain and he approved that message. I mean, if McCain is so deadset on alienating voters, doesn't it make sense to anger those he's already lost?

People like, say, civil rights advocates?

Those voters may never forgive his initial opposition to a national holiday honoring slain civil rights hero Dr. Martin Luther King. Believe it or not, certain members of Congress tried to kill the proposal. To his credit, McCain has since admitted the error of his ways, doing a complete 180. A guy is entitled to change his mind, right? Certainly, Senator Obama changes his mind about important issues all the time.

But then why at a recent Florida press conference did McCain actively portray himself as a champion of civil rights?

Love how this article shows the presumptive Republican nominee stumbling and bumbling on a simple two-part inquiry. Radio talk show hosts have played rambling Obama outtakes in an effort to make the presumptive Democrat nominee sound like a brain-addled ninny. It's good to see the shoe on another foot for a change.

Note to self: Talk show hosts make themselves look the fool by ridiculing Obama's oratory skills while ignoring their good 'ol boy in the White House.

But getting back to the ethical side of this election, if John McCain is so all fired honorable, shouldn't he publicly acknowledge a long history of civil rights opposition? He's more like a braying donkey dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century than a champion of civil rights. And if there's anything I hate more than unethical politicians, it's two-faced politicians bathing themselves in a fictional light.

Look, I get it. McCain wants this side of his legislative record to be veiwed as a relic of the past. And who knows? I might be willing to give him the benefit of the doubt down the road.

Just as soon as Republicans forgive and forget the relic past of Barack Obama.

Dueling McCain and Obama Ads Knock Out Media

The latest development on the campaign trail is too good to be true. Presumptive Republican nominee John McCain managed to take the meaning of the term "celebrity politics" to a whole new level.

Gentlemen, to your corners. Everybody ready? Okay, then. Let's get ready to rummmmm-bbbbble (are you ready for this).

... doo do da de de doo doo, doo do da de de do do ...

In this corner, weighing in at a svelte 170 pounds, America's favorite former POW, John Mc-Cain!

And in this corner, down to the slim trim fighting weight of 198 pounds," the biggest celebrity in the world," Ba-rack O-ba-ma!

Say hello to our panel of judges, everyone. A media so concerned with making talking points, they've turned on themselves. Talk about lack of substance in a campaign, don't be surprised if our judges go down for the count.

...and the colored girl goes, do dah do dah do dah do de oh, do dah do dah do dah do de oh. Hey girl, come and walk on the wild side...

Not meaning any disrespect, but can't help myself. The McCain ad portraying Obama as a vapid celebutante is hilarious. Who ever thought a serious political candidate would use images of Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in an attack? Are McCain's campaign advisors not aware of Britney's recent comeback makeover? I mean, the girl hasn't run over any paparazzi or crashed her car in months.

Sure hope they cleared the use of her image through proper channels. Ditto for Paris Hilton. I doubt either one would allow use of their images gratis.

FYI, Britney's temporary conservatorship is back in court today. She'd be crazy to cut ties with her father seeing how he's apparently turned her life around. But then Brit isn't known for her keen intellect.

Do you think McCain is trying to make that kind of comparison with Obama? Because if so, it's not going to fly. Harvard Law Review Editor, fellows. Only black man in the U.S. Senate. Best-selling book author. Co-sponsor of important transparency in government legislation. Come on, give the man his due. He's very intelligent. Has to be with that list of accomplishments.

Obama's summary dismissal of McCain's charges also made me chuckle. If his ad runs a month from now, no one will know what he's talking about. Then again, maybe his campaign intended a generic rebuttal. That way he can run the ad at any time to any charges levied against him and look like he's paying attention.

What I like about Obama's rebuttal is that it finally highlights his energy policies, a decisive factor for me in this campaign. Obama is shooting for the moon when it comes to energy. If he can successfully hit the target, it will be Camelot the sequel.

McCain's ad says nothing about the man McCain, nor what he intends to do as president. It's also somewhat deceptive. Obama's energy policies are not reliant upon an increase in foreign oil. At the very least, the McCain camp could get their facts straight.

Ooooo. And there he goes down for the count. The crowd goes wild. Can the war hero recover? I don't know, Sheilah, it looks like there's blood dripping down his chin. But then McCain comes from tougher stock than that, just take a look at the man's mother. There she is in the front row yelling at him to get off the floor. Wait. I see a muscle twitch. He's getting back up. Thank heavens -- ding ding ding -- saved by the bell.

New Yorker Cover Squabble Drones On

Just because we've entered the dog days of summer doesn't mean election 2008 coverage has to get loony toons.

First Jesse Jackson's gutter language spectacular and now The New Yorker cover squabbles. Pick, pick, pick. Dissected over and over, and over once more until the nausea police are called in.

Enough already. We've had our news stories, our petty battles over satire, misrepresentation, tastelessness, offensiveness, thick skin, taking the heat, and getting out of the kitchen. The possibility of any meaningful analysis or material revelation has long since passed. This horse is dead. Move on.

What do any of these natterings have to do with choosing a president? [Source]

The straw that broke my camel's back is this piece from Philly.com. So much to disagree with, I don't know where to begin. Two strenuously argued points are particularly irksome.

The piece claims the cover was clearly satire, dispeling belief in outright Obama lies "in a way nothing else could have." I'd be inclined to agree if the "MAD-Magazine-over-the-top" cover (as the writer describes it) actually appeared on MAD Magazine. Instead, the cover clothes a publication containing not only satire and fiction, but also reportage, commentary, and essays. "Reportage" being the act of reporting news, one could reasonably interpret The New Yorker cover as an illustration of news or commentary.

Thus, the cover is NOT clearly satire. And let's get something straight. The hooplah is in the disconnect. Ryan Lizza's accompanying article is more about Barack Obama meticulously crafting a political identity, as well as charges of political opportunism than about preconceived misconceptions. The New Yorker wouldn't have incited nearly as much controversy with a cover depicting chameleon-like Obama in a race to the finish line with hard-driving lawyer Michelle cheering him along.

The only place Lizza's article discusses preconceived misconceptions about Barack Obama is the very end. No mention whatsoever of Michelle. Dismissing the notion of Obama as "some sort of anti-establishment revolutionary," the Philly author imbues the candidate with "establishment inclinations" and labels him a paradox. His analysis becomes so far removed from the cover's illustration as to make a mockery of his tacit support.

Methinks someone with a hankering for magazine and online advertising sales "Barry Blitt" off more than they could chew.

But getting back to Philly, the second bug stuck in my craw is the author's characterization of Obama's September 19, 2001 article in the Hyde Park Herald. He basically pounds Obama for recommending engagement in the understanding of madness. Michelle Malkin made a similar argument which I suppose transforms this perspective into gospel.

Can't find any link to Obama's original article, a troublesome development, though everyone writing about the topic seems to have linked to the vital passage. Still, I am skeptical of the arguments as words taken out of context often make mincemeat of the whole.

True, soon after 9/11 Obama did say we must engage in "the more difficult task of understanding the sources of such madness." However, he also noted how history teaches such madness "grows out of a climate of poverty and ignorance, helplessness and despair." If we can somehow understand the way madness breeds, we may be better able to protect the "lives of innocent civilians abroad." An earnest display of well-intentioned empathy could have led to a peaceful resolution.

Of course, today we'll never know.

Obama tried to convey the importance of alternatives long before anyone realized the depth of our faulty intelligence. In retrospect, he displayed remarkable level-headedness when the nation was consumed by rage. Seven years later, Islamofacism still has a tenacious grip on many pockets of civilization. The next president will need savvy and determination to keep our homeland free from attacks. Remarkable level-headedness is a trait in short supply.

Barack Obama isn't the perfect candidate. He comes with his own grains of salt. But kicking a man with his own out of context commentary is disingenuous.

And for what it's worth, just plain partisan.

Now can we get back to the business of dissecting political platforms and other more material matters?

That's the Way McLaughlin's Oreo Cookie Crumbles

Here we go again. A talk show host emits a racially charged epithet and all hell breaks loose. Wonder how long protesters will take to mobilize on this one.

Just to be clear, John McLaughlin, host of ratings challenged The McLaughlin Group, did not call Senator Barack Obama an oreo cookie. He merely said that Obama fits the stereotype of an oreo cookie.

Uh, split hairs much? What's the difference? Look, don't take my word for it, read the transcript for yourself. Better yet, watch the video.

In case you've been out of it or on vacation, a baton is passing in the civil rights movement. As a result, the Reverend Jesse Jackson, who could not gain the backing of a major political party if his life depended upon it, hurled some disparaging criticism against presidential hopeful Barack Obama. Jackson mistakenly thought his microphone was off. Man, did he ever miscalculate. Good thing he never got any further than the primaries in his quest for the presidency.

Jackson's gutter language attack and subsequent apology were already fish wrappings yet, mainly due to pundits like McLaughlin, the controversy lingered. If you ask me, McLaughlin got caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar. Verbatim, here is the query that landed him in hot water.

Question -- Does it frost Jackson, Jesse Jackson, that someone like Obama, who fits the stereotype blacks once labeled as an 'Oreo' -- a black on the outside, a white on the inside -- that an 'Oreo' should be the beneficiary of the long civil rights struggle, which Jesse Jackson spent his lifetime fighting for?

My, oh my.

Some people simply refuse to let the Jackson flap die a quiet dignified death. Some people would rather milk every bit of salacious sound bite they can wrench from that gob of goo. Some people just don't know when to leave well enough alone. Some people even think it's a good idea to add their own unsavory ingredients to the mix. And unfortunately, some people don't acknowledge retirement even when it has the courtesy to come politely knocking at their door.

That's why some people can now count themselves among the casualties of a political firestorm. Good luck with those cookie references now.