Neiman Marcusgate Threatens Future Candidacy of Sarah Palin

In the days following Election 2008's historic outcome, scads of Conservatives publicly bemoan rabid personal attacks against Republican V.P. nominee Sarah Palin and the failure of Senator John McCain, her vanquished running mate, to personally silence detractors.

They can't understand how McCain could defend his Democratic opponent, Barack Obama, at a campaign rally, yet allow what's considered malicious gossip to flourish against Governor Palin.

Well, I very well may have happened upon the most plausible explanation to date.

Republicans Impalin'

I am not one to gloat.

But can you imagine what would have happened if the American people were duped into sending McCain-Palin to the White House?

She's Got Election 2008 Coverage Eyes

Dateline nprbloggers:

Where in the world is CherylT? Live blogging the election, silly. I'll be there all day. So, click and refresh, refresh, refresh.

It's going to be a bumpy night.

Help for Undecided Voters

Thank gawd, the mud-slinging, terrorist-mongering, race-and-gender card playing, never-ending 2008 presidential election is about to end. Seems like political contests are starting earlier and earlier. Before you know it, we'll be knee deep in rhetoric for the off-year congressional races.

Election 2008 can't end soon enough for me, although don't miss my live blog on Election Day direct from Washington, D.C. Up to the minute results, live entertainment, and announcements as they occur straight from NPR studios.

I also found just the thing for all you undecideds and fenceys inclined to change your mind inside the voting booth. A sneak peek at the heartland, the real hockey moms and joe six packs who won't be pulling the lever for Obama-Biden. Hand-waving, cancer stick-puffing, hog-riding compatriots for America.

Watch more free videos

Is this the kind of thinking pointing your support in the wrong direction? Sounds downright comical when it comes direct from the horse's patoot.

Live Blogging Election 2008 Direct from NPR Studios

Dateline nprbloggers nprbloggers

Woo-hoo! It's official. The Spewker will be live blogging the presidential election direct from NPR World Headquarters in Washington, D.C. on election night. And I couldn't be any more excited!!

Okay. That's not exactly true. I could be more excited. For instance, I could start jumping on the couch and screaming at the top of my lungs about how much I love a country that lets an obscure unheralded blogger like me play political pundit on the most important night of the year. But then, what's the point? Pulling a Tom Cruise is already so done and tired it's cliche. Besides, it's no fun to go completely bonkers without a live audience to appreciate the level to which I could completely lose it.

I don't think my little family qualifies as an audience. Not yet, anyway.

So, join me here in this very spot on election night. Bookmark it if you have to. This article will be regularly updated beginning at approximately 8:00 p.m. on November 4th and continuing until they've called a winner. I'll have all the election news that's fit to print and maybe some that isn't. You might laugh. You might cry. You might even see a wee bit of video.

Because live blogging is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

Nov 4th 12:23 a.m. - Drat. I may not be able to sleep tonight. My inbox is brimming with press information, NPR World Headquarters PR, NPR correspondent bios, guest blogger guidelines, specs on next day coverage, and quite frankly, my head is spinning.

Going over everything now to avoid having a cow on my way to Union Station. Or maybe I'll drive in and take my chances with parking. Can't be any worse than the 4th of July.

For anyone tuning in early, you won't believe all the social media these NPR people have cobbled together. An election blog, a streaming Twitter report, an unverified voter reporting map, a voting problems aggregator, and an extremely impressive press room wiki -- I'm still navigating all the links.

Wow! CurrentTV is also covering the election using VoteReport. Their program starts at 9 a.m. That's less than nine hours away! Advocacy groups, news reporters, and anyone with a gripe about the election can tune in early and monitor these reports, hopefully do something to fix any broken situation rather than just sit there and grumble.

I can see it now. By the time I reach NPR Headquarters, I'll be running on pure adrenaline. One hundred twenty people doing live coverage with live mikes broadcasting our every word, sniffle, and sound bite. OMG!

I can't wait.

2:35 a.m. - I just found the coolest vote tracking map ever. It's interactive. Can't wait to see how it tracks the returns. Just one caveat: It's from FoxNews. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

2:58 a.m. - Dixville Notch, NH is the first jurisdiction to register a win for Obama-Biden. With 100% turnout, no less. Hoo-ah! FoxNews map hasn't changed one iota.

Come on, peeples. Get out there and vote!!

2:00 p.m. - Still haven't left Baltimore. My scheduled dentist appointment took longer than I thought. Such a pity too. These lovely ladies were standing outside of a local elementary school willing to give rides to the polls.

Sadly, I didn't get their video up in time. The free rides ended at 1:00 p.m. But these women are such a dedicated bunch, I decided to give them the extra recognition they deserve.

Doing my part, however ineptly.

Earlier today I happened upon my friend and relative Greg G. Greg is shaking up the election with his own exit poll at Pikesville Senior High (video to post a little later). Follow Greg's unique election coverage with video, live updates, and news at Baltimore Jewish.com.

4:30 p.m. - Leaving for D.C (finally)! Just might miss traffic if I hurry up. Darn computer. Needs disk space, no time to compress. YouTube video of Sandy Rosenberg hot off the presses (finally). Oh no. Must be a conspiracy. Even YouTube is against me. The video didn't load. At least that's what my YouTube account is showing.

Taking an additional laptop to NPR just in case my world weary steed won't free up ram. Crossing all body parts. Wishing for the best.

Approx. 6:30 p.m. - Dateline: NPR studios. I've arrived. Only took about two hours down the parkway in intermittent rain. And the most confusing split in Massachusetts Avenue right where the NPR building stands. Let's just say, I'm lucky to have set up and to have made it here on time.

Still getting to know my table, a small set up in the corner of the room. Mostly comprised of NPR employees. In the middle sit the majority of tonight's bloggers, a fine mix of tech, politics, and social media. But since I'm trying to work off two computers at the same time, I thought it best not to take up too much extra space.

On the way over the radio talking heads debated The Fairness Doctrine, early voting in Maryland, exit poll returns, etc. Polls are closing in some key states. According to the TV news Obama seems to be leading in Kentucky, "very very early in the game." But don't let that discourage all you McCain supporters. According to Fox News, democracy requires that everybody vote. Hurry up! In some parts of the country you still have time.

Most of the TV and radio pundits are saying the election turning point was the September meltdown of Wall Street. But I disagree. I say it was McCain's selection of Sarah Palin as running mate. Good for Conservatives, bad for Independents and disaffected Democrats. At one point in this election I could have gone either way, but with the selection of Palin, well, that was the final straw.

Appx. 7:00 p.m. - They're starting to call Kentucky for McCain. But still too early, although about 8,000 votes are in. Vermont called (again early) for Obama. If so, McCain now leads in the electoral college.

Mark Warner projected winner in Virginia for U.S. Senate.

Appx. 7:45 p.m. - Just came back from the studio tour given by Amy Schriefer of All Songs Considered. Three people at a time, I wanted to be one of the first volunteers. Hopefully, if I ever get today's Sandy Rosenberg video to load, I'll have whatever video I was able to get of the studio posted.

Ah, finally (fer real this time). Ladies and gentlemen, Delegate Sandy Rosenberg:

Appx 8:00 p.m. - Yes we can!! NPR just called a slew of states for Obama. Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, Illinois, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, and D.C. They are saying that Ohio, Pennsylvania and Florida are must wins for McCain. But now McCain is the projected loser in Pennsylvania, although called the winner in Oklahoma, Kentucky, Alabama, South Carolina, and Tennesee.

And now they're projecting Elizabeth Dole as a loser in her election race. Can you believe that? No more Liddy Dole! The horror.

Some grumbles in the blogger room about NPR projecting Pennsylvania way too early for Obama. No other news organization is making that call ... except ... Al Jezeera (credit to someone at the big blogger table -- didn't see who). Very funny.

Can hear cheers in the background of the current NPR broadcaster. Seems like a lot of people are psyched about those early calls for Obama. About 170 electoral college votes. Obama is almost half way there.

Colorado polls are still open apparently. NPR is broadcasting from a McCain support center. The lady says they are still calling people to get out the vote. So if you're a voter in Colorado and you still haven't voted....what in the world are you waiting for?

Appx 8:30 p.m. - Whew! NPR is no longer out on limb projecting PA for Obama. MSNBC and CBS News are now on board. If these folks are correct, it's a very big loss for John McCain.

Appx 8:50 p.m. - Obama-Biden headquarters are starting to heat up with excited supporters. John Dickerson reports from Chicago that there are six spotlights pointed to the sky, "presumably preparing for Obama's ascent to heaven." Can't tell if he's a supporter or detractor. Actually, I think I recall his earlier broadcast of a vote for Obama, but don't hold me to that.

Projected 80% turnout for voting. Hmph! I thought it would be way higher.

Now projecting Michigan, New York, Rhode Island, Minnesota and Wisconsin for Obama, North Dakota and Wyoming for McCain.

Appx 9:10 p.m. - Washington Post has a nice stream. They're refusing to call PA for Obama, probably out of an abundance of caution. Their team of pundits are now saying that the only way for McCain to hold on is to win all the red states for Bush in the last election plus a swing state. That's a lot to live up to, even for McCain. I don't think he can pull it off. It's 9:10 p.m. and I'm calling this election for Obama.

You heard it here first.

Georgia called for McCain. Big swath of red in the south. And now there's some red states showing on top of the map as well. Wyoming and North Dakota for McCain. There must be some kind of correlation between the people living in those big country states and the south. Far be it from me to suggest the commonalities. I'll leave that to you to figure out.

Appx 9:25 - The camera guys are here. Popping pictures all over the place. Maybe I'll download some and post here.

In the meantime, even The Washington Post has called PA for Obama. And NPR is calling Ohio for Obama. Richard Cohen from The Washington Post says this election is a vindication for Lyndon Johnson. Who would have ever thought the civil rights movement would forever go down in history as his baby.... Surely not Martin Luther King.

Appx 9:40 p.m. We're having an amazing round table discussion about the election and what a historic Obama-Biden victory will mean. Phrases like "fruition of a dream cut short in the late 1960s," "Americans voting for President based on the country they want to live in," "wanting a President who's smarter than me," and "Conservative voters hijacking the Republican party" are piquing my interest in another video. Still waiting for the NPR Studios composite to load. But if my computer speeds up, I may be able to post a video capturing the spirit of an impending Obama victory.

10:55 p.m. - Washington Post put Louisiana in McCain's column. Big duh.

10:10 p.m. - New Mexico called for Obama. After almost an hour of downloading 22 minutes of the NPR studio tour, the program malfunctioned. Can you believe that? No? Neither can I.

Eh, not much going on here really. A few bloggers have left, a sizeable amount are on break. Pundits reduced to how John McCain will save face and maintain his reputation.

More on the "I can't believe that just happened" front - while I was out at the buffet, I heard an NPR program where they were discussing our round table "fruition of a dream" discussion. Coincidence? I think not.

10:45 p.m. - Just wrapped my video with Terrance Heath - an in depth discussion about race and religion and recreation of our round table discussion. Good stuff!

Virginia just called for Obama. Hoo-ah!

10:55 p.m. - Colorado called for Obama by The Washington Post, but NPR is still staying neutral. Big shocker of the night - Virginia called for Obama and North Carolina still too close to call. And talk about Florida... 83% precincts reporting with 49% for McCain and 51% for Obama. Looks like tonight's story will be Virginia and Ohio. And "as Ohio goes, so goes the nation..."

11:00 p.m. CNN calls the election for Obama! California tipped the election. You're witnessing history!

11:45 p.m. Computer froze. But I'm back. Have some great photos of the blogger room. Here's the scene during McCain's concession speech.








11:50 p.m. Barack Obama is expected to speak at the top of the hour. Just checked my email. A bunch of links from the other NPR live bloggers. Check out their articles:

writeslikeshetalks
Matador Pulse
siteview
arstechnia

Okay - Obama has taken the stage in Chicago. I need to hear this.

Nov. 5th 12:15 a.m. Obama just wrapped his speech. Hurrying to upload on YouTube. NPR wants to pack up and go home.

12:35 a.m. - Last video of the night. Yes we can! Thanks, NPR.

Over and out.

Texas McCain Campaign Worker Tries to Start Riots

"B" stands for "bubblehead of the third kind."

Okay, people, the riots are postponed until voting day. It was all an ugly hoax.

Now go back to your Family Guy reruns.

Raunchiest Celebrity in Washington Regurgitated

Don't understand how personal matters can derail coverage of local events, but once again the beast has reared its ugly kisser.

This beauty sat in my editing bin for over a month. Yowza! I really am behind keeping up with the times. But couldn't let the 15th Annual Funniest Celebrity in Washington roll without a nod. Thankfully, recent developments have enhanced its relevance.

Last year's fundraiser drew pointed appreciation for runners-up, Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter and the lesser-known Ana. Continuing the "aw ya got robbed" tradition of underdog love, vlogger extraordinaire James Kotecki got his share of laps for a raunchy take on Election 2008.

Winner Mike Huckabee, Governor of Arkansas and former presidential contender, must have bribed someone for the title 'cause let's face it, Kotecki wiped the floor with Huck's routine. He even scored extra brownie points for non-partisan telling it like it is. Note these deleted lyrics from Kotecki's act:

Palin is the Governor of Alaska/There's just one question I gotta ask her/ She's got a bang'n body that we all want to hit/Does that negate the fact that she don't know sh**?

Speaking of dope raps about Palin, last Saturday's SNL Weekend Update kicked Kotecki's initiative up a notch. A sketch likely to live in the annals of SNL folklore featuring ready-to-pop Amy Poehler, Alaskan themed dancers and co-anchor Seth Myers bopping with the real Sarah Palin bore more than just a passing resemblance to its raunchier predecessor.

If only Kotecki could have foreseen the comedic boost of hilariously funny backup, he might have walked off with this year's crown. Food for thought as local competitors gear up for next year.

Prince William Unrecognizable, Powell's Endorsement Undeniable, Lohan's Tan Unreliable and Mo' Gossip

It was a night of douchebag debauchery for the future King of England. Not on William Wales' end, mind you, but the idiot bodyguards who supposedly kept him from fraternizing with Queen Xtina. At some point, His Highness was recognized and given court before setting out with Prince Harry on a week long South African motorbike race for charity. I don't know who snapped this romantic memento of the Prince's glitterati rendezvous sans hubby Jordan Bratman, but that's the most photogenic Christine Aguilera has looked in months.

Actor Alan Cumming recalls washing away his disappointment over 2004 election night result with handstands and trannies. Today, he fears possible revolution in the event of a similar outcome this November.

Respected GOP stalwart Colin Powell finally announced his endorsement for president and it's .... Democrat Barack Obama. Surprise! Meanwhile, the McCain Campaign somehow persuaded CNN to scrub its report of the Palin family's involvement in the Alaskan Independence Party. Media censorship knows no boundaries.

Like "cuddling up to a piece of gristle," claimed Guy Ritchie in describing love-making with soon to be ex-wife Madonna. Ritchie blamed the material girl's obsession with exercise and Kabbalah for sex life interruptus, some draughts lasting as long as 18 months.

Foo Fighters front man David Grohl too chicken to dedicate song Everlong to Sarah Palin? That's the rumor being floated after the band protested the McCain Campaign's use of song My Hero. Grohl appeared at a private video gamer event where he almost segued from a Palin reference to a dedication, then quickly substituted "... the Republicans" as recipients of his affection.

Fake tan malfunction alert. Calling all hosers. Can't explain why this non-news item made today's cut. Must be the lure of Lindsay Lohan's naked two-toned legs, although from the looks of strategically placed stocking holes, the cover-up doesn't seem nearly as garish.

Echoing Alec Baldwin's empty threat to leave the U.S. in the event of a George Bush presidency, Tina Fey claims she'll leave the planet if the McCain-Palin ticket wins the election. Exactly how the 30 Rock star plans to handle the unthinkable is between her and doppelganger Palin.

Top Ten (Plus Five) Catch Phrases of Election 2008

In the waning days of Election 2008, there has never been a greater need to settle the score.

Terrorist ties? Sex with lobbyists? Heavens no, I'm referring to catch phrases.

That's right, those nuanced nuggets that summarize a dramatic or hilarious turn of events in the race for the presidency. Whether a word, phrase or complete sentence, a single utterance conjures up vibes. For good or for bad, they define a campaign. What went wrong, what went right, it's all there between the lines.

Vote for your favorite or suggest your own. Whichever way the election goes, you can still play a part in picking a winner.


1. The one
2. That one
3. The original maverick
4. Rock star
5. Hockey mom
6. Joe six pack
7. Lipstick on a pig
8. Joe the plumber
9. Troopergate
10. My Muslim faith
11. Words are just words
12. Yes we can
13. Change
14. My friend
15. What is it exactly that the VP does?

Ace of Cakes Won't Be Your Friend if You Mess Up the Vote

Locally produced Ace of Cakes is starting to film its sixth season. The show airs weekly on The Food Network.

Production and other business obligations keep the crew of this bad boy very very busy. So busy in fact, I don't know when owner and star Duff Goldman finds enough time to churn out his confectionery creations. Or as they're otherwise known in the biz -- vanity cakes.

Okay, I made that up. Nobody actually refers to these works of art as vanity anything. They're fancified cakes in the shape of any image you like, a big plus for those harboring an artistic sweet tooth. A word of caution, however. Charm City Bakery is booked through the end of this year.

So, when Duff and the gang aren't busy making cakes or filming reality TV, how do they keep busy? By getting out the vote, silly. Even scary bakers with blue colander hats and cake knife pitchforks think participation in the right to vote is a matter of vital importance.

Based on the sign she's holding, the woman in green must either be an illegal immigrant or convicted felon. Either that or she has some obsessive-compulsive desire to avoid jury duty. Wonder how she'll keep busy on Novembet 4th.

Not. So very not.

Jessica Alba and Hayden Panettiere Model the Muzzler

Getting out the vote just got disgustingly creepy. And deliciously kinky.

Now do we have your undivided attention?

Good because according to this new ad campaign, "Only U Can Silence Yourself."

Jessica Alba and Hayden Panettiere are part of the new Declare Yourself and Get Out The Vote ad campaign, a grassroots effort to attract younger adults and people who surf random porn.

The images are more startling than inviting, less political statement than prop, but compelling in the same way a baby screaming in the middle of a movie theatre makes people look for the nearest exit.

Oh, and by the way there's a contest. Just in case you were inclined to spend time making fabuloso video entries instead of meeting voter registration deadlines and heading to the polls on November 4th.

Homespun Analysis of Biden-Palin Debate

"Stock Answers And Stick To The Talking Points" v. "Run With Momentum And Emphasize Strengths."

That pretty much sums up performances by Sarah Palin and Joe Biden respectively in last night's debate.

Look, I'm not beholden to any network or news conglomerate. No one's going to fire me for media bias. Do I support Barack Obama in the 2008 election? Of course. Does that make me incapable of speaking the truth? I think not. Despite what the political nemesis masquerading as my husband claims, I am not predisposed against Sarah Palin.

Well, at least not because she's John McCain's running mate. Truth be told, I like and admire John McCain. He's a decorated war hero and an upstanding member of the U.S. Senate. I'm not too keen on his lobbyist ties, but what Senator doesn't scratch the back of someone else to benefit constituents? At least he's never been the subject of scandal.

Not yet, anyway.

But McCain's pick of Governor Sarah Palin as second in command has to be one of the all-time boneheaded moves of anyone who has ever run for president. This debate did nothing to resolve my own lingering doubts about his judgment or ability to lead. Our country is on the brink of social and economic collapse and this is the best rabbit he could pull out of his misshapen hat?

For thinking and intelligent women everywhere, "Sarah Barracuda" is an insult to the office of vice president. She looks and acts like Wall Street Investment Banker Barbie.

With looks that could kill and ability to bat those baby browns, Palin could charm her way into just about anything. I'm certain that's the reason for her meteoric rise to Governor of Alaska -- a state about the size of Baltimore City -- putting her executive experience on par with Baltimore's current mayor, Sheila Dixon. Not to knock Mayor Dixon (she has enough trouble brewing underfoot), but I wouldn't seriously consider sending Dixon to Pennsylvania Avenue.

Oh, but Palin is likable, she's so darn likable, ya just gotta like 'er.

Yeah, well Kathleen Kennedy Townsend is so darn likable too and I wouldn't want her running the country. Heck, I didn't even want her running the State of Maryland.

After the debate, I sat and listened to the pundits but finally had to switch FoxNews because they didn't have the guts to invite a liberal commentator. Each pundit patted their own well-tailored back, complimenting Palin on her ability to avoid a "deer trapped in the headlights" look as well as answer each question without a major gaffe. Bleh. The incessant hand holding made me nauseous.

Grow a pair you spineless dimwits.

First of all, Palin made at least two major gaffes. Her refusal to characterize the Bush Administration's Middle East missteps as failed foreign policy was so far off the charts dead wrong I started screaming at the TV screen. What is it about the proliferation of Hamas and Hezbollah -- two groups on our State Department's terrorist watch list -- that don't qualify as security threats to our only democratic ally in the Middle East? Biden briefly explained how these policies helped Hamas and Hezbollah rise to power and he was right.

And clearly Palin pandered to Jewish voters by suggesting McCain would move the American Embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. No presidential candidate has ever made such a representation and for good reason. As the only foreign embassy in Israel's capital, the mere hint of a U.S. presence would spark riots and be a magnet for terrorist attacks.

Dumkopf. The woman has absolutely no grasp of foreign policy.

Palin's second major gaffe concerned the office of vice president. Palin agreed with Dick Cheney's interpretation of vice presidential power and duties. Yet, anyone with any comprehension of the U.S. Constitution knows our government is divided into three branches and the duties of vice president reside solely in the executive branch. Unlike the poppycock propounded by Cheney, the vice president does not derive power from both the executive and legislative branches. Towing the party line on this issue cost Palin credibility and pegged her as a talking head puppet.

As for Biden, maybe I am prejudice. He was utterly amazing.

Every opening she gave him, and there were many, he shot down McCain. Like an artist on a large swath of canvas, he deftly painted McCain as McBush by emphasizing repeated mistakes, all the while carefully avoiding direct criticism of his immediate opponent. It was masterful, really, and practically undetectable. I doubt even Palin realized being painted into a corner by the big guy.

Why, she barely moved a muscle to get out. Just kept repeating those Stepford Wives talking points.

I could go on and on about her grating annoyances, like bangs she refused to move for what seemed like an eternity so that they fluttered like caterpillars crawling down her forehead every time she blinked.

Or the way she came out and immediately asked Biden if she could call him "Joe" then proceeded to call him "Senator Biden" or "you" throughout the debate.

Or the number of times she referred to McCain as "maverick" and the State of Alaska as her "energy rich state."

Or the "god bless him" references and frozen smile as she listened to Biden's counter-attacks.

Or how she argued with Biden about the meaning behind his Senate vote on the Iraqi War and refused to acknowledge or explain why McCain had voted the same way.

Or how she artfully dodged most of her questions by regurgitating well rehearsed talking points.

If this is who y'all want a heartbeat away from the presidency, then so be it. I'm done trying to persuade the unmovable. All I know is this woman is woefully unprepared for a job she has no intention of relinquishing of her own volition. She'll need the American people to make her step down.

On November 4th, please make Sarah Palin step down.

Top Ten Questions About Tonight's Vice Presidential Debate

Late breaking post. Less than an hour before broadcast of the first and last vice presidential debate. So much riding on one televised broadcast, so little time.

Here's the top ten things I would like answered prior to tonight's debate:

#10 - Will Palin wear something other than that tired fire engine red bandleader jacket?

#9 - Will Biden formulate responses as actual answers rather than something akin to a soliloquy from Hamlet?

#8 - How many times will Palin say the moderator's name to fill time and fake answers sounding more intelligent than pageant prattle?

#7 - Can Biden swallow the foot he's inevitably going to stick in his mouth so the audience won't realize it's there?

#6 - Will Palin ask the moderator to reformulate the question like a kid at the National Spelling Bee whenever she gets stuck for an answer?

#5 - Will Biden make mincemeat of Palin's first gaffe or let it blow over in deference to politically correct rules of decorum?

#4 - Will Palin pull homespun analogies from a rabbit's hat trying to make the audience forget exactly how far in over her head she is in this election?

#3 - Can Biden get through the entire debate without reminding the audience he knows from experience what it's like to suffer through personal tragedy?

#2 - Will right-wing radio talk show hosts ever stop harping on moderator Gwen Ifill's blatant bias against Palin? Yeesh. It's like they fully expect Palin to implode upon impact.


And the number one question I would like answered prior to tonight's debate ....


(drum roll)


#1 - How many bloggers have posted drinking games predicated upon the number of times each candidate does and/or says something stupid and/or predictable?

Celebrities Rally to Get Out the Vote: A Guide to Election 2008

Celebrity endorsements for president. Do we really care? Probably not.

What scares me about this video is knowing the names of everyone by sight. Okay, maybe one or two escape memory, but recognizing Giovanni Ribisi was a little scary. Yup, I spend too much time immersed in celebrity gossip. But I can't will myself away. Too much fun. Those who know and love me (and even those who don't) might as well get used to it.

With all the criticism -- good and bad -- about celebrities impacting the 2008 election, a star-studded cast put themselves on the line to debate an issue of vital national importance.

Getting YOU to the polls.

Think it doesn't matter? Uhm, no.

Even in non-battle ground states everyone, especially college students, have a duty and obligation to vote. If anything matters in this election, increasing voter participation and preventing voter fraud tops the list. It's our country and we can take it back, one citizen at a time. But we all must do our part.

In that spirit, I'm doing mine. An easy state by state voter guide appears below. Eligibility requirements, deadlines, and online registration links, they're all there for anyone who gives a flying fig.

Now it's your turn. No excuses. Register. NOW. Because in some places (*cough* Mississippi *ptuii*) the deadline is tomorrow!

Then vote on November 4th. Early.

Most states will allow everyone in line at poll closing time to vote. And if you get turned away, demand to see the precinct captain. Plop a provisional ballot in the captain's lap and take a cell phone picture. You can always file a complaint with the election board if your state results become a point of contention.

Remember Election 2000!

Never again.


Alabama

Alaska

Arizona

Arkansas

California

Colorado

Connecticut [Bill of Rights]

Delaware

D.C.

Florida

Georgia

Hawaii [Register Here]

Idaho

Illinois

Indiana

Iowa

Kansas

Kentucky [Deadline] [Register]

Louisiana [Deadline]

Maine [Register]

Maryland

Massachusetts

Michigan [Register]

Minnesota

Mississippi [Deadline] [Register]

Missouri [Register]

Montana [Deadline]

Nebraska [Register]

Nevada

New Hampshire

New Jersey

New Mexico [Register]

New York

North Carolina

North Dakota [No Deadline]

Ohio

Oklahoma

Oregon

Pennsylvania [Deadline and Registration]

Rhode Island [Deadline] [Register]

South Carolina

South Dakota [Register]

Tennessee [Deadline] [Register]

Texas [Deadline]

Utah [Deadline]

Vermont

Virginia [Deadline] [Register]

Washington

West Virginia [Deadline] [Register]

Wisconsin

Wyoming [Deadline]



Register from anywhere in the U.S.

Additional Resource

Bill Clinton Strikes Again

It's deja vu all over again.

He endorses him. He doesn't. He equivocates. They do lunch. He hems and haws, confuses the meaning of a simple word like "is," then spits out the party line like he's doing everyone a favor. Somehow, I've seen this show before.

Less than forty-five days out from the election and Big Bill is too busy to hit the campaign trail for Barack Obama. Sour grapes and all, Billary needs to move on. But then, they never did put the country before personal ambition, great public servants that they are.

Congressman Ron Paul Refuses to Endorse John McCain

And he's not the only Republican bucking the tide.

Congressman Paul says he cannot endorse a candidate with whom he fundamentally disagrees on all the major issues. Federal reserve spending, taxes, education, foreign policy, and especially Iran. An implicit signal to his supporters to back Obama-Biden. You'd think Texans would have gotten the message by now.

Long time Conservative and former editor of The National Review Wick Allison also admits that McCain is not the right man for the job. He says Conservatives are "cemented to political programs when they clearly don't work" and view the war against terror as a theological expansion of America's mission to defeat evil. He further cautions against a philosophy that would make "George Washington cough out his wooden teeth."

We've come a long way from being isolationists, but unilaterally becoming the "Avenger of Evil" under a mistaken notion of religious duty is as bad as the terrorists.

I used to believe kill or be killed was the only way to defeat our enemies, but fall of the Roman Empire provides a valuable lesson in the possible repetition of history. Perhaps failed diplomacy wasn't responsible for the war as much as the people who delivered the message. Obama-Biden have better foreign policy expertise between them. In this critical area, the contest isn't close.

John McCain is so out of touch with mainstream America, he can't keep his answers straight any more, like he has to choose between what he's been coached to say and what he really believes. In his defense, I can't blame him for doing what needs to be done to claim victory. McCain had to energy his Conservative base or risk losing them at the polls. But at what price comes the pacification of such a small portion of the electorate?

Conservative values are basically good and decent. I have no qualms with the majority of them, believing many traditional values are worth following. I only draw the line when Conservatives insist on imposing those values on non-subscribers. It isn't the role of government to keep library books off the shelves, decide what a woman should do with her body, or institute tax policies that favor 2% of the population holding 90% of the wealth.

The system is broken. John McCain is essentially promising more of the same. Don't get me started on earmarks for special interest groups.

Barack Obama recently wowed a sizable crowd with his comments about the meltdown on Wall Street. The video is long, but the first five minutes pack a wallop.

Obama's are the sentiments most capable of turning this country back in the right direction. "The dream of the American people must not be endangered any more!"

Time is running out to register to vote. If you haven't done so already, get off your patootey now! This election is a pivotal time in American history. Whichever candidate you support, stand up and be counted.

Inspiring Presidential Campaign Signs

An undercurrent of Alaskans against Palin has finally washed up on the mainland. On September 13th, Alaskan women rallied to reject McCain-Palin's bid for the White House. So many Obama-Biden supporters pounded the pavement with campaign signs, police had to be called in for crowd control.

Whew! That's a relief. I was beginning to think gender might decide this election. As I recently responded to one misguided pundit, the day we elect a candidate solely because she brings a vagina to the table is the day we seriously endanger our system of government.

For the most part, campaign rally signs were clever, tastefully voicing public sentiment against Palin in an amusing way.

"Sarah (does not equal) Hillary"

"I'll need reproductive rights some day"

"Don't insult my pit bull"

"Palin: Bush in a skirt"

"Palin Anti-Christ"

"Hockey Momma for Obama"

"Polar bear mommas say no to Palin"

"No more (hangers) We deserve better"

"Why do sexists love Sarah?"

"Real women vote on the issues not the gender"

"The Alaska disasta"

But hands down, the top campaign sign came from a blogger who recently cruised Alaska and stopped in Juneau to visit the Governor's mansion. Support for Obama-Biden littered the surrounding neighborhood, inspiring one bit of controversy for a curious window dressing.

One commentator levied charges of photoshopping, demanding to know how the mansion could sit in such close proximity to a residential neighborhood. The ramshackle contrast to mansion opulence was disorienting, although charges of photoshopping were unnecessary and harsh.

"Definitely not photoshopped sir," replied one of the adventurers, or at least a person of the same name. Links were provided and I'm here to give my seal of approval. The Obama-Biden support is real, in your face, and from people who live in proximity to the Governor's mansion.

Gawd, can't these people afford a campaign sign? Support written in dirt isn't exactly the kind of endorsement one should gloat about.

Then again, what does that say about Alaskans' standard of living under Governor Palin?



More signs from Women Reject Palin Rally here

Larger photo of Obama support at Today's Special: Palin's Stomping Grounds:

Saturday Night Live Plugs Sarah Palin Credentials

If you consider being a GILF, the ability to see Russia from home, and a fervent desire to become president credentials.

Like A Really Bad Disney Movie

Where pitbulls wear lipstick and hockey moms pee on your leg telling you it's raining.

Sarah Palin Nomination Spawns Bias, Frivolity, and Running for Cover

In the final stretch of Election 2008 media bias has entered the fray, thankfully as comic relief.

Bad enough registered voter polling continues ad nauseum (as previously stated many, many times, The Spewker puts no stock whatsoever in polls), now campaign cry babies scramble to discredit new numbers!

Okay, we get it. Certain news organizations are pushing for Obama/Biden. But biased reporting in any form -- whether influencing an election with subliminal references to positive character, whitewashing wrongdoing for the perceived greater good, or mischaracterizing an event to achieve personal objective -- is misguided, unethical and just plain wrong. The backlash has been swift, unmerciful and to our great delight, hilarious.

Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly going to town on Bradley Jacobs of US Magazine plays like a deer in the headlights. Like a hapless little boy using spindly arms to deflect a pummeling by brutally vicious older sister. Ow. Ouch! She's touching me! Mom!

Who would believe tabloid headlines could spark news wars. Everybody knows that stuff is embellished to sell magazines at the checkout line.

Well... er... apparently not everybody.

As previously impervious realms of celebrity and politics continue to mix and mingle, US Magazine editor Janice Min has taken her share of the beating. Defending charges of purposefully mischaracterizing the cover story about GOP Veep nominee Sarah Palin, Min responded,

This is an election where personality is getting sold, oftentimes far ahead of platform, and that personal interest in the candidates has definitely crossed over into the pop-culture arena. I think that after so many years where people decried the interest in celebrity as a distraction from real issues, I’ve definitely noticed the worlds converging.

Yah, so have we. But let's get real.

Tabloids are widely considered the second tier of journalism because they're known to play fast and loose. Not much investigation and many stories taken at the word of an unverified source. Tabloids manipulate headlines to sell magazines much the same way corporations use Olympic athletes to endorse ordinary consumer goods. Bright and shiny sells. So does outrage.

Truth be told, we're lapping up every steamy detail of the "Sarah Palin Chronicles." Made up or not, this woman's personal life plays like an episode of The Beverly Hillbillies. Estranged brother-in-law fired after ugly custody battle. Alleged affair with husband's ex-business associate. Alleged bigoted leanings. Partisan political firings. Pregnant unmarried 17-year old daughter pressured to marry in advance of Republican National Convention. Mother-in-law may vote for Obama. Former Wasilla church kooky prophecy ties. Busted for fishing without a license.

The list goes on and on.



This just in: Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews replaced as political anchors. Perhaps certain news organizations have gotten the biased media message after all.