Prince William Unrecognizable, Powell's Endorsement Undeniable, Lohan's Tan Unreliable and Mo' Gossip

It was a night of douchebag debauchery for the future King of England. Not on William Wales' end, mind you, but the idiot bodyguards who supposedly kept him from fraternizing with Queen Xtina. At some point, His Highness was recognized and given court before setting out with Prince Harry on a week long South African motorbike race for charity. I don't know who snapped this romantic memento of the Prince's glitterati rendezvous sans hubby Jordan Bratman, but that's the most photogenic Christine Aguilera has looked in months.

Actor Alan Cumming recalls washing away his disappointment over 2004 election night result with handstands and trannies. Today, he fears possible revolution in the event of a similar outcome this November.

Respected GOP stalwart Colin Powell finally announced his endorsement for president and it's .... Democrat Barack Obama. Surprise! Meanwhile, the McCain Campaign somehow persuaded CNN to scrub its report of the Palin family's involvement in the Alaskan Independence Party. Media censorship knows no boundaries.

Like "cuddling up to a piece of gristle," claimed Guy Ritchie in describing love-making with soon to be ex-wife Madonna. Ritchie blamed the material girl's obsession with exercise and Kabbalah for sex life interruptus, some draughts lasting as long as 18 months.

Foo Fighters front man David Grohl too chicken to dedicate song Everlong to Sarah Palin? That's the rumor being floated after the band protested the McCain Campaign's use of song My Hero. Grohl appeared at a private video gamer event where he almost segued from a Palin reference to a dedication, then quickly substituted "... the Republicans" as recipients of his affection.

Fake tan malfunction alert. Calling all hosers. Can't explain why this non-news item made today's cut. Must be the lure of Lindsay Lohan's naked two-toned legs, although from the looks of strategically placed stocking holes, the cover-up doesn't seem nearly as garish.

Echoing Alec Baldwin's empty threat to leave the U.S. in the event of a George Bush presidency, Tina Fey claims she'll leave the planet if the McCain-Palin ticket wins the election. Exactly how the 30 Rock star plans to handle the unthinkable is between her and doppelganger Palin.

Ellen DeGeneres to Wed, Jackson Browne Seeing Red, and Lindsay Sharing Bed

You clamoured for mundane celebrity gossip and we're going to give it to you. Another edition of The Weekly Wrap of Crap.

McCain and the RNC finally went too far. Musician Jackson Browne is the latest aggrieved celebrity with a beef against the Senator from Arizona. Browne joins an ever expanding list of celebrities with copyright infringement claims against McCain and the Republican Party, including Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Paris Hilton, ABBA, and John Mellencamp. Ohio RNC chairman Robert Bennett pulled the ad after Browne filed suit in L.A. U.S. District Court.

Contrary to persistent rumors, Madonna is not adopting another child. Or maybe she is. We're so confused. Madonna's rep Liz Rosenberg has been known to issue misleading news in the past.

Ben Stiller continues to battle backlash against his latest film Tropic Thunder. But not for the reasons most people suspect. Apparently, Stiller is an equal opportunity offender, placing Caucasian actor Robert Downey, Jr. in black face, and repeatedly using the "r" word to refer to developmentally challenged children.

BET debuts a cross between Keith Olbermann and Bill Maher with a black perspective this Friday at 11 p.m. Entertainment news program The Truth With Jeff Johnson is the latest entry in the political entertainment genre.

It's wedding bells for DeGeneres and de Rossi. Popular talk show host Ellen DeGeneres and fiance Portia de Rossi plan to wed in a same-sex ceremony this weekend.

Get a chance to see what life looks like through the eyes of a famous celebrity. A-list stars donated their eyeglasses for an eBay charity auction benefiting Sightsavers International. Bidding ends on August 24th. Money from the auction will fund the work of the international blindness charity in 33 countries across Africa, Asia and the Caribbean to prevent and cure blindness and support people who are permanently blind or visually impaired. Former spectacle owners include Sir Michael Caine, designer Bruce Oldfield, George Michael, and Ewan McGregor.

Elizabeth Edwards is reportedly anguished over husband John's admitted affair with a campaign aide. Edwards was "unprepared for the amount of disgust and how swiftly everything else he had done in his career would be wiped away, and ... really reeling from that and afraid what it will do to their legacy as a couple and what their children will inherit." Maybe Edwards should have considered the scum sucking fallout before hopping into bed with a flooze.

Check out the "Celebs to Watch Out For" list. Paparazzi, you've been warned.

It's official. Lindsay Lohan confirms sharing a bed with lover Samantha Ronson. Lohan hasn't been with a man since the two started dating. Reportedly Sam has a real calming effect on the former wild child and the two are inseparable. Any relationship helping Lindsay tone down her hard partying ways is a big plus in my eyes.

Weight loss stories sell magazines. Just ask actress Jennifer Love Hewitt. After admonishing the tabloids for shining the spotlight on her cellulite, she encouraged women to be proud of their own bodies whatever shape or size. Now the star of Ghost Whisperer announces dropping 18 pounds in 10 weeks. "I am in a pretty good workout regimen that I like, so it inspired me to keep it up," Hewitt told US Magazine. Her trainer claims she didn't drop the weight to look good in a dress but failed to offer any other plausible motivation.

The George Clooney Curse, Lohan Christian Values, and Other Celebolitic Shorts

This site isn't the only one mixing up politics and celebrities. In today's "Bastard Child," a sampling of mutant celebolitic spawn from around the country.

Does dating George Clooney cause a curse on future hapiness? Yes, according to Britain's Next Top Model judge Lisa Snowden. "It's not something I planned but I just don't get asked out any more. Men seem to look at me and think, 'She went out with George Clooney, what chance have I got?'" The 36-year old model also says her five year on-again-off-again relationship with Clooney hurt her career.

Australian Idol winner Kate DeAraugo won't be hawking diet products on behalf of weight loss conglomerate Jenny Craig. Citing "personal health issues," the break-out star is otherwise mum about the reason for the split.

Actor Richard Dreyfus wants his money back. In a lawsuit filed last Friday against his father and uncle, Dreyfus claims damages of $870,000.

Michael Lohan says his Christian faith would prevent him from giving away famous daughter Lindsay in a gay wedding ceremony. When discussing Lindsay's public love affair with DJ Samantha Ronson, Lohan insists he wants his daughter "to be happy." Guess that Christian faith didn't get in the way of puportedly fathering Lindsay's illegitimate half-sister Ashley.

The "Lonely Loony" aka the "Lusty Lord of the Manor of Warleigh" David Piper, who once advertised for a Lady of the Manor and attracted applications from all around the world, is selling "his whole life" on eBay and hasn't ruled out the possibility of throwing himself into the bargain.

I pity the fool who thinks Mr. T is homophobic. Nevertheless, T pelted a wiggling yellow clad speed walker with candy bars, screaming "You are a disgrace to the man race. It's time to run like a real man" and "Get some nuts!" in a UK Snickers commercial. The ad was pulled after gay rights groups complained.

A dispute over a 1988 film of the late Rodney Dangerfield has been settled. Dangerfield's daughter, Melanie Roy-Friedman, allowed Comedy Central to air the master copy of her father's act without permission from stepmother Joan. Under the terms of settlement all copyrights to Dangerfield's act are held by his widow, Joan Dangerfield.

The upcoming Democratic National Convention promises a roster of stars reading like a Hollywood premiere. Big name celebrities are expected to attend parties hosted by AT&T, MTV, and Rock The Vote. Kanye West, Wyclef Jean, the rap/rock fusion band N.E.R.D., Ben Affleck, Scarlett Johansson, Warren Beatty, Annette Bening, Forrest Whitaker, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Cheryl Hines, and Ed Norton Jr. are just a few of the A-Listers convention spokesman Chris Lopez will neither confirm nor deny are on the guest list.

Can't decide who to vote for in the upcoming presidential election? Why bother with political platforms when pop culture icons might influence the vote? John McCain favors Batman, ABBA, Roy Orbison, Linda Ronstadt, Usher, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld, Dexter, Indian Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and Dennis Hasbert in 24. Barack Obama favors Batman, Spiderman, Frank Sinatra, Bob Dylan, Sheryl Crow, John Coltrane, M*A*S*H, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Shrek the Third, and Jeff Bridges in The Contender.

Hope for Economic Stimulus Package Pinned on Coolspotters Shoulders

Looking like a niche social network for obsessed celeb watchers, Coolspotters.com launches a celebrity connection sometime later today or tomorrow, depending upon your Google Maps location.

If it weren't for the brash commercialism, I'd definitely be one of the first ones to sign on. The site connects people to stuff, the implication being if you've seen stuff on a celebrity or in some media program, you must make it your own. Chat up the products and make some new friends...or maybe frenemies, who knows?

"Rate stuff, leave comments, and follow cool people," urges a diagram at the top of the homepage. "Coolspotters is the Google of people and products," proclaims Rachel Zoe, celebrity stylist. Oh bully. Just who everyone wants to see in their browser. A stylist instead of an actual celebrity. Now you too can purchase the same styling sheers used to shave Britney's head. Only a thousand bucks at Vidal Sassoon. Hurry while supplies last.

I can see it now. Bored upwardly mobile teenagers flocking to Coolspotters, gossiping about celebs, rating the coat Lindsay stole, spending sugardaddy's hard earned cash on stuff they don't really need.

That oughta make Dubya light up like a Christmas tree.

[Source]

Lindsay Lohan Arrested Yet Again

I don't know why I'm doing this. Maybe I have blog bite envy, or maybe I've just spent too much time at my laptop.

This story broke not too long ago on, of all places, FoxNews. Yep. Suspicion of DUI and cocaine. Awwww, and coming on the heels of her picture perfect day at Polaroid Beach with unidentified BFF. Michael and Dina are probably spewking (unless I've scooped them as well).

I just want to hold the post time over the slackers on the left coast. Unless one of those bloggers is up at 6:39 a.m., I've got this field all to myself. Details on this one to follow.

Okay, I'm back. It's 6:15 p.m. EST. Did my little blog item even get a first page search result on Google? No. Did anyone leave a comment? No such luck. Sigh. I pinged it, and Digged it, and posted it everywhere. Guess there's more to getting noticed than just being an early bird. Perhaps the pundits are right. Perhaps content does count. It's not just being the first to go to press afterall. So much to learn. So little time.

Right now, there is nothing but Lindsay's arrest plastered across every form of news media in the known world. She has/had a guest spot on Leno tonight...wonder if it got cancelled. Duh. She probably won't make it to her own movie premiere this evening. Predictions are rampant about the impending demise of her career. Could the situation be any more dire?

I'm getting pretty disgusted with all the news coverage devoted to Hollywood bad girls. Someone should develop a cable entertainment channel, call it Party Hollywood, and do nothing but cover the Hollywood party scene. The camera crew and bevy of hot hosts could then act as a third eye at all the high profile gatherings in and about town, impromptu and scheduled. They'd not only attend award shows, club parties, parties at the Playboy manse, backstage parties, and premieres, but also troll the streets of Brentwood, Bel Air, Venice, Fairfax, even Malibu ready to video partying at a moment's notice. For filler, they could broadcast images of party girls Paris, Lindsay, Britney, Tara, Nicole, Kimberly, Shannon, and any other lollipop joining the fray. I'll bet if someone had thought of this sooner, they might have caught old firecr**ch speeding after that driver and, who knows, might have even saved her tail by nipping that fateful argument in the bud.

But then who would everyone gossip and make videos about?